carpe diem carpe noctem carpe vitam

Trying to get back into painting. I can not say that is is coming alone very well. It just feels flat and not right, like I forgot how I to paint. Which could very well be the case. It has been a year since I was in art class and I do believe that I left a part of me behind when I walked out of that room.

Art has been a big part of my life since for as long as I can remember, I suppose I do not really need a class to be an artist, but miss the feedback. Both positive and negative. So anyone. I'd love to know what you think.
 The trees are just place holders, I'm mostly play around with the ground for now, and when I'm happy with it I'll move on to adding more to the trees and giving the forest a bit more life. I have a beauty vision in my head for this.

There is a girl I when to high school with, she's wild to say the least. Her family is wealthy and that has given her grounds to live her life to the fullest. She has two or three jobs, not because she needs them, but because she gets bored and wants something to do when she's not parting or having a grand old time. I am honestly jealous of her carefree outlook and have decided that I want to try to be like that. She is a lot like Anthony, they both go with the flow and seem to not care about much at all. I like that about both of them, and luckily for me, they hate each other, other wises I might have had to worry about the two of them being so much alike.

But, that is my new years resolution. I want to go with the flow. I want to live my life as much as I can, no more plans, no more worrying (or at least not as much. I am going to try as hard as I can not to worry, but come on, it's me) no more being stressed. I am going to buy myself some Buddhist prayer beads, and make sure that I meditate, I am going to clean and reorganize my room so that when i want to I can start painting. No more of this having to spend twenty minutes cleaning and losing my muse. I am going to be more focused on school but not let it control me. I am not going to worry about getting more hours at work, but I am going to be the best sale associate they have ever seen, and get a million icaps and e-mails. I am going to be happy with who I am, and not worry about what is going to happen tomorrow. Just today. I am going to live in the day, the now.

Mike Posner

I got a free CD from a radio DJ at work today. She came in the other day and helped out and I guess I'm a really good sale associate, because I got a free CD. It made me feel really good, not to mention I was a little gitty to meet her, since I listen to that show almost every day.

However, something at work did my make me really mad. I spent roughly twenty minutes helping a costumer look up some sleep pants and then a full pj set, as well as help her a sign up for a car, then I helped her with the full online order. I did not mind, it is my job to help out people. I love doing it. I generally love to help people find what they are looking for. When everything was said and done she told another working how great and helpful I had been, this worker is higher up on the ladder than me and promised to tell our store manager what the woman had said, and she did. Well, I spoke to this other worker later and found out that all our store manager had to say was "Well is she going to fill out our survey?" That was is.

All he cared about was whether or not this woman was going to get online and fill out our costumer serves survey, and hopefully give us a good rating, so that his ratings can go up. He does not care how helpful we are, as long as we get good scores on the surveys. I was hurt to find this out because she is not going to do a survey, because I helped her with an online purchase and those receipts do not print with a survey code on the bottom.

Even if I do not get recognition for helping her out, I still know that I helped her. And it help great when she told me that I was the nicest and most helpful sale associate she as ever met. People like that make me happy. People like that make my days go by faster.

Better late than never

I miss blogging. I still do not have anything great to say, but I want to get back to writing everyday, or almost everyday. Looking back at the beginning of the year I posted something almost everyday. I did not keep things inside either, I just wrote it out, which felt good. Maybe I need to start doing that again.

I'm not looking to get a book, or a million followers I just need a place to talk again.

Hopefully thing is not the last time I update for months. I hope to back on tomorrow to talk about my day at work, or even back on later tonight if this boredom takes over. Not having classes anymore til new years is going to kill me, to much free time is a bad thing for me.

get this off my chest

so i cheated on my work sheet for A&P.
I have no clue why I did it, but it really screwed me up. I submitted it blank so I could see the answers and get it turned in with a 100. I knew the answers, I could have done it. I should have tried. But I'm not the only one, because he caught on to it happening and turned off the review part of the work sheets. I used those parts to study. I would have the open and be able to double check my answers while I studied. Now I can't, and the only person I can blame is myself. Yeah, I can say damn you to the others that did it. But I did it too, so I have to suck it up and find a new way to study.

I feel like a horrible person. I do not know why I was being so lazy. I could blame being sick, and taking many meds, but no. it was all me.

Way to go Taylor. =(

UPDATE.
Maybe I am not the reason for this shutting off the review mode.
I went and looked at the one I cheated on, and all the worksheets for that week are open for review. It is just the new week that we can't look at. So I guess other people have been doing it ALOT recently. I feel a little better, but I am still mad at only myself.

Day One: Best Friend.

This letter is honestly the hardest letter to write, because I do not have a bestfriend. Me and the people I kept close have all changed over the years and sadly I have drifted from a lot of people. So this letter is to all the people I kept close, and all I things I want to say.

Dear C, I miss you with every fiber of my being, but I miss the old you. High school turned you into someone who kept secrets and cheated on boyfriends, someone I never thought you would be. You always had the right words for every situation and you always seemed to know who you were. Our personalities did not always click but we knew how to work around that and I miss having that bond in my life. I was always jealous of how perfect I thought your life was and it wasn't until we grew a part that I learn that you were flawed like the rest of us. I wish you had never kept secrets, but I wish I had been able to see that we were falling a part. I miss you, but the old you. I don't know if I can miss a person that would keep someone of the secrets you kept form me.

Dear J, I am glad we still talk, I need a little crazy in my life. We used to stay up all night talking about things that no one else would get, things that no one else would be able to follow. I felt like you were a piece of me separated at birth and that I was lucky to have found you. We fought sometimes too, as all girls do, but never bad fights. Until that one. I am sorry about the things I sad about your brother, I am sorry for not trusting you, I am sorry for judging you. I wonder if that fight is what broke us apart, because I do not know if we'll be the same again.  Even though we are not best friends I love that you are still a part of my life. We grew up into new people, better people, but we both still have a little crazy in us.

Dear (different) C, I do not know if I miss you. I text you when I am sad and need someone to talk to, but I do not missing being with you. We had fun when we hung out, you were one of the best friends I could have ever had. But, you always caused a lot of drama in my life. I think I lost a lot of good friends because I stood up for you, which I never regretted until you turned on me. You thought everything was about you and when my dad lost his job and I was upset you made it about you, you ignored me to whine about a girl that was never going to be a part of your life again. You, are the reason you are not with K. You acted like a poison to the people who tried to be close to you, you did the same thing to her that you did to me.
I always try to blame myself when I lose a friend, but I can't this time. You made my life hell with drama, you pushed people away from me and then pushed me away from you. I miss the girl I knew years ago, I miss the girl that didn't care what people thought. I miss the part of you that was an explorer and a thinker and an artist, NOT the parts of you that were a fighter, and a drama queen and a bully.

Dear E, I wish you were still here. Nothing bad ever happened between us except you fell in love and moved. Your boyfriend is amazing, he is the sweetest guy ever but I guess I'll always hate him a little for taking you. My summer was boring without, there was not Wii Fit and going to the part at crazy hours of the morning. I hate out way less and job way less as well. I miss out job together, I miss art class together, I miss how funny you were without trying. I am really glad you met this new guy, because your old wasn't good for you. I always hated to see you sad because I knew you could laugh twenty four seven. Move back?

I changed my mind

I am not going to do the tumblr thing right now, thought I might sometime in the future.
This is what I am going to do.

Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you've drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that's not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

I am going to do something.

This is called thirty days of tumblr but since I do not believe in tumblr I shall do it here.

• Day 01 — Your favorite song
• Day 02 — Your favorite movie
• Day 03 — Your favorite television program
• Day 04 — Your favorite book
• Day 05 — Your favorite quote
• Day 06 — Whatever tickles your fancy
• Day 07 — A photo that makes you happy
• Day 08 — A photo that makes you angry/sad
• Day 09 — A photo you took
• Day 10 — A photo of you taken over ten years ago
• Day 11 — A photo of you taken recently
• Day 12 — Whatever tickles your fancy
• Day 13 — A fictional book
• Day 14 — A non-fictional book
• Day 15 — A fanfic
• Day 16 — A song that makes you cry (or nearly)
• Day 17 — An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
• Day 18 — Whatever tickles your fancy
• Day 19 — A talent of yours
• Day 20 — A hobby of yours
• Day 21 — A recipe
• Day 22 — A website
• Day 23 — A YouTube video
• Day 24 — Whatever tickles your fancy
• Day 25 — Your day, in great detail
• Day 26 — Your week, in great detail
• Day 27 — This month, in great detail
• Day 28 — This year, in great detail
• Day 29 — Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
• Day 30 — Whatever tickles your fancy

College

Anthony starts school on Thursday, which is our twenty three month anniversary. Two years in September. I am so excited for it to happen, I think it will really show that we can do this. Recently the two of us have had doubts, because we never get to see each other, but I believe we have been trying.

Making time to see each other, making dates, seeing movies, just hanging out playing video games. We decided to get in touch with the best friends we used to be, however we still do couple stuff. It is like we're the couple we started out as, which is a good thing. We were bestfriend for as long as I can remember and I loved it. But I would never change being his girlfriend. 

A few weeks ago we called it quits, for about a day. That's when we realized we cannot do that, neither of us could handle what it felt like to be separated. I remember the text he sent after he left my house that morning. "I thought I could be strong for the both of us. I thought this was what I wanted, but it hurts to much" I know he meant it, I've only ever seen him cry to other times. 

I think we can stand the test of time. All couples have their bad patches. I believe that the ups and downs are tests that make you into a great couple. They make you into two strong people.

College is going to be one of those test, but not just for us as a couple but for each of us as people. I am excited for it to really start. My summer classes made me ready. I am worried about two things, Anthony and I being to busy and that I won't get the 'A' I need in my Anatomy class.

Yummy in my tummy

I am taking my boyfriend, Anthony, out to dinner tonight. I know, isn't he the one that should be taking me out? Nope, this is a treat for him for simply being him. When I used to have a job we would go out to eat all the time taking turns paying. Well for the past year, he's always had to pay. Needless to say, it's my turn.

We're going to a place called Cheddar's. I LOVE IT. However, now I have to pick from a sandwich and this yummy veggie plate. The only reason I want their veggie plate is because I am madly in love with their broccoli and cheese casserole. But, I can probably get that as a side with my sandwich. My stomach is already happy about this idea.

Since I worked a weird shift yesterday, I was unable to eat dinner. So, I am going to make an insane omlet and get ready for another, less weird, shift.

But first, I do love my job. But yesterday was a terrible day. The AC in our hours went out. Well upon getting home mother and sisters start babying my father because he had to fix it. He was outside for ten minutes, I know this because I was at the ninety degree house from six am to noon. No one cared that I was there because they thought I was at work, why? Because my dad said I worked nine to five, but I said I worked four to ten. They assumed he was right. Then at work I had to work four to ten which then turned into four to eleven thirty with no lunch break. At home I had been unable to eat because the heat was making me sick. Why didn't I leave? Because my dork father took my car, and his keys. Unlike his key chain, mine only has the keys to my car and no other. So I was left with my keys and his car, doesn't work. After my shitty shift I come home and my parents had gotten Chinese, but none for me. Coming home at midnight does not mean I want to cook, it means I want to re heat something to eat. But no, they did not think to get me anything.

I went to bed pissed off and hungrier than I have ever been. But I feel great now.

Now for the omelet.

91

It is 91 degrees inside my house and 107 outside my house.
I am unbelievably happy about going to work in an hour. I should be home around 11 which means that the house should be all nice and cool.

My first paycheck sucked, but the one I got today was really amazing. This is the paycheck that I plan to get some new sheets/bed covers for as well as by some art supplies. I do not know if I really need much more art stuff. I have some old canvases that I can use but I do not REALLY want to. Or at least, not for what I want to start working on. There is a tree thing I plan to use the old canvas for.

Something sorta like the one to the right, only with three panels not five. I have this plaster stuff I want to try mixing with the paint to make the leaves. Personally I think it'll work and look amazing, but I could be wrong. Willing to take that risk. Hehe.

I might have to buy some oils, I love the background and I can not do that with acrylics. BUT I do not think I can do the plaster thing with oils. Hmm. Then again oils are way thicker so it might work out anyways. Eeck. I am so excited for this.

remodeling

I recently painted my room purple, which was fun because my room used to be bright green. I also plan to get a new bed soon as well as new sheets and stuff to go with my room.
I would not get purple sheets but m
aybe cream sheets (Because the background is more of a creamy color in person). Also, I do not know if I'll have the cute pillow with the bird because that one is not a pillow case, it is a thirteen dollar pillow. But I do love it.

Hopefully when I buy it, it looks great with my room I would hate to have to take it back. My walls are pink-ish purple, so they should look break with this set. The only thing I am worried about is the fact that I have a futon and not a normal bed. But that shouldn't be a problem. When the futon is down it is a normal bed and when it is up I can just fold the comforter up and lay it over the back, or use it as an 'couch cover'.


I also am re-modeling my guinea pig cage. Right now they are in a 7 square foot store bought cage, that I will be soon adding another 7 square feet too. Since my room is pretty small I have to build the cage up and not out. It is going to be pretty amazing. I spent all night last night putting together the grid for the new section and thinking of great things I could do for the floor.

This site c and c cages helped me out a lot, there are so many ways to give your piggies an amazing house. Personally I think they need a great house because I live a very long time, four to eight years.

long time no see

It has been just under a month since I last posted.
I hate to see that the last thing anyone hear about way my tattoo.
The follow Tuesday of that week I started my new job and since that day I have had been busy. And I really mean busy. Not just sorta busy and not feeling like getting online, but so busy the only time I get online is to check my e-mail (because my phone hates me and won't send me e-mails). I will be starting my fall semester in two weeks so I do not know how much blogging I will be done. My tweeting died out as well because I have nothing to say.

Hopefully things will be better as I adjust to this new life. I have never in my life worked 35 hours a week, as well as went to school full time.
Sorry in advance, but I for see a lot of post about how much I hate working during the back to school season as well as post about how my anatomy class.


Well. I hope to post better and more entertaining blogs again soon.
I will try to get back to posting almost everyday, although I do not even know if people read this.

I got my tattoo today.
I do love it. BUT. Or course, there is a but. I wish that the little fire flies head was smaller, it just looks a bit off. Aside from that I like it, a lot. I am very very happy about it.

It just like nothing else I have ever felt. At some point it stopped hurting as much but it was still pretty bad.

WTF

I just got into a rather large fight with my mom. I sent her the tattoo idea picture that I posted here and her reply was "what is with the #3 in the middle?" I sort of thought she was joking but it still offended me a little bit. So today when she comes to me talking about how we were going to go tomorrow to get an estimate I made a comment about it.

She was not joking. She really did not know.

I drew up my tattoo idea over a year ago and she never really took the time to remember what I was gunna get. This might have pissed me off a little less if it wasn't for the fact that she has asked me to re draw her tattoo like six times. I have worked on her a million times, making it perfect and she never took the time to remember what mine looked like. That is really dumb. She's my mother, she should know. Also she is spending a good bit of money on this as well.

I am still so pissed off.

My father said that there is nothing to be mad about. She just forgot. That is enough to be mad about to me. She forgot what tattoo I was getting. We've spent the past year talking about this and she had changed it a million times and I NEVER FORGOT WHAT HERS WAS. I drew mine a year ago, and that is what I am getting. I never changed it.

One more week

Sadly because of the holiday weekend they were unable to get my background check stuff done in time. So no work for Taylor, for another week. She asked me not to get a new job, which kind of shocked me. I guess they have had problems with people doing that. Crazy.

I am still really excited. I am all so getting more and more excited about my tattoo.

Rain Rain go away

Camping would have been a hundred times better if the sun would have come out for a little while. It rained the whole time. Lucky after we got home the sun came out for about two hours so we could dry everything. When we left the lake we just threw all the stuff in the car and left. We threw away a broken take and an old sleeping bag that my dad brought. He did not use it at all and has not used it in years, plus it was left out side in the rain all night. Needless to say, it stunk.

Spending forty eight hours with Anthony could have been way better. But I love camping and still had a lot of fun. My dad bought Risk and I got to play for the first time ever. Anthony won but I held out til the very end. Yay me.

I got the job. I got the job. It has not sunk in yet, but I suppose it will tomorrow when I get to work. Wow. That felt weird to say. My life is going so great right now. My first three days of training, this week. Then I am pretty sure that I am getting my tattoo on Friday. I AM SO NERVOUS, SO NERVOUS.

Please help me? Should I be afraid? I am just worried I am not going to like it. It is the 'Aum' Symbol. I like this picture, minis the things coming off the bottom right side. I would get it on my left shoulder blade though.

Camping.

Once again I will not be posting for a few days. At least, not at all on Sunday, because I will be camping. I hopefully will post about how amazing my trip was on Monday when I get back.

I am not sure though if I will be able to post on Tuesday because Anthony leaves that day for a week so we will be hanging out. AND TUESDAY IS MY FIRST DAY AT WORK. Oh yeah. All is right with the world, I got a job and I and I am so excited about it. I really have no been this happy in a long time. eeck!

The stars are all in aline

I am getting ready for my second interview. Might possibly be more nervous this time than I was on Tuesday. Tuesday was an interview, and I was so nervous about it. But today, today is my second interview. That means they really liked me and thought I was good enough to get another interview. This interview is it. It thought Tuesdays interview was it, but no. This one is.

I am nervous. I suppose that was easy to tell, it's not like I didn't already say it five times. However I suppose that people nervous is good. I know I will rock this interview, but a lot lays in the hands of the guy I am interviewing. Who's name I do not remember. I am sorry, Mark/Mike/Max/Matt, it has nothing to do with you. I am just terrible with names.

Sorry

I hate how I stopped updating this everyday.
I really should have been updating this week.

Monday I went to dinner with my family.
While at the store afterward I get a call from unknown number.. I AM SO HAPPY I ANSWERED.It was someone calling me about a job.

Tuesday I go in for an interview. Which I think went GREAT. The lady who interviewed me would be my manager and she said she liked me a lot and wished me luck with my SECOND interview. That has be a good thing, right? They must like me.

Wednesday I was in class and got a call. SO after class I called my voice mail and it was someone from the same place asking about my application. Needless to say I was confused. So I called the number they left. Well it was someone from the same store offering me a different job! This place must REALLY be interested in me. But I told the guy I was interviewing for a different possition with them and he also wished me luck.I am going to call him back though if my second interview on friday does not go very well.

I just hope this does not jinx it. I am excited for this and would love this job. The job is retail so I would be working in mens clothing. Honestly that is a good thing, it means I will not be 'shopping' the whole time I am at work.

6.24.10

I have a take home test that I have no even looked at. Seriously. I picked it up and put it in my book and left it there. Maybe I should work on it today. It would be really great not to fail my first college test ever. Is it dumb that I am nervous about this test? I suppose it is because it is a take home test, it is going to be a super easy test. I should just turn off my TV and step away from the computer. I can use the book so there is NO reason why I can not get an A.

I went shopping yesterday. I only bought underwear, but I almost got a REALLY cute hat. The hat is at forever 21 and I love it. I would wear the shit out of this hat. There was also a ring I sort of wanted. It was a bow, like those 'remember' ribbons you tie on your finger, only thing one was a real ring. The only thing that kept me from getting it was it made my fingers look LOONG. I think that the hat is a good idea, I would be able to wear it at the lake or the pool. Although I have not worn it with my bikini I think they will look stunning together. AND it is really simple so it can with just about any sundress.

I love it. I must own it.

All work and no play

School has kept me busy. As well as camping again last weekend.
I went on a three hour long hike over the weekend and had to write a paper.

The hike was amazing. I loved it, even though I was insanely tired the rest of the trip. My legs were not happy with me either after the whole thing was over. I was wearing my shoes that help work out my legs on the three hour long hike. Yeah, that was a bad idea.

 I never thought in my all my years of living in Kansas I would see anything like this. I have so many pictures from this lake. It is the same place we went to for Memorial Day weekend. I am loving this place. My father and I are debating going up to this same lake for the Fourth of July.




I wish I had more happy things to take about.
I had another panic attack yesterday. I guess we're out of money. My family is broke. I wish there was something I could do, I am trying to get a job. I really am trying. Not being able to get a job is another thing that is not helping me stay stress free. I keep freaking out about life. Money mostly.

I wish there was an answer to my families money problems.

Darn

I really did want to post yesterday. But not that I did not am I am not really sure what I did yesterday. It was Anthony's first day at work, well his first day as a temp at the bakery. And it was my last day of school this week. Which means I get to start working on a paper. I will be describing the abstract idea of love with three concert examples. I have one so far, and I can not think of two. That is what I will be doing over the next twenty four hours. In between getting camping stuff with my dad and going out to eat with Anthony.

Yeah. I am going camping again. This is only my third time this summer I do not know why it is a big deal. I love to camp. I wrote my first paper about camping.

I really sure make this blog more interesting. No one reads it. I watched the Julie/ Julia project again today. Love love love that movies, but it makes my blog sad.

I did cook something today! It was so yummy.
I took some of the taco stuff from last night. Chopped up onions, tomatoes, and lettuce.
I also took a bell pepper and sauteed it(with just a little bit of this stir-fry sauce I have), then added the chopped up onions, after that was all good I put in the tomatoes.
On a big tortilla I put lettuce and cheese then putt the sauteed veggies on it. Yummy.
I wish I took a picture.

Fat?

I have always have body image problems. I always just figured it was because I was a teenage girl, I thought that all girls felt this way. It has gotten worse as I have aged, but for more reasons.

Not only do I think that I am a tad over weight but I am very mush so aware that I am out of shape. I love to work out, I love to walk, slow jog, do yoga, things that like that. However I am bright red and panting within ten minutes of starting almost any work out.

I wish I knew a great way to get into shape.
I would love to go running every morning but I know everyone on my block and I am so shy to go running where people may see me. Even if they are asleep. They could see me. It would be amazing if Anthony would go run with me early in the morning. But that will never happen.


I think right now my main goal is to be happy with my body in time for Florida.
I just really want to look good. I know that I will be on the paler side for Florida, but that does not bother me as much as my love handles and thighs do. Anthony tells me all the time that I look amazing but being in a bikini every other day is taking it's tole on me. I keep seeing myself in this little bathing suit, and on top of that my thighs have been rubbing and causing me to notice that I have been gaining a little weight.

Summer is never a good time for girls.
It truly is a time to wear next to nothing.

Pay Day

Deposited my first pay check in just under a year. Sadly today was also my last day working at the bakery. They told me they will call me back during busy seasons, or whenever they need a little extra help. However, I still have no job. Which is no fun.

Not really sure what I would do if I got a job. All I would be able to do is work and go to school, maybe see Anthony from time to time. Then again when I had a job before I had to go to school as well, and I had it five days a week unlike my two days now.

Anthony quit his job. They hired two new people and cut back his hours to four hours a week. He was spending more on gas to get to work than he was making so he quit. And unlike me he was offered an almost permanent job at the bakery. Which I do no mind, because he worked there way longer and is better friends with the family that owns it than I am. He also needs the money more. I do no have bills, he does. Yeah. It does suck that I have been looking and looking and looking for almost a year and he was unemployed for under twenty four hours.

Life could be better, but for the most part it is going good.

M.I.A

Wow. It has been a while since I posted.

I was going to update Monday about my first day of college. But I am not sure why I did not. I tried to stay way from my computer, because it sucks me in and kills my times. Ha Ha

However, Monday was a bunch of fun. English Comp was great, and the Pysch teacher never showed up so I did not have to stay until three thirty. My phone broke though, which really pissed me off because it was a mechanical failure. There was nothing I could have done to stop it from happening.I even took it in to be looked at, however it had started to work. They turned me away saying there was nothing wrong they could not do anything. I was home for an hour and it died. Not happy.

Tuesday was not good.I had a complete nervous break down. My new kitten had kept me up all night that night.I was stressed out about my phone not working, and I was stressed about my bank account charging me. I was crying and just generally freaking out. But the day got way better. Everyone was so nice. They guy at the bank was so nice , the tech guy at the phone store was so nice. Nothing makes you feel better than nice people helping you.

Wednesday was normal. I went to school. English was so easy. I was never able to stay away durring my English class in high school that was an hour and thirty minutes, but I can stay awake fine in my three hour comp one class. I have to write a paper, not sure what I am going to write about yet. I am thinking about writing about camping. It is suppose to be describing something. We need three main points about it. I guess my three main points about camping would be;

• It is an escape from the technological world.
• How relaxing it is sit by the camp fire and talk or laugh
• The joy of swimming, or boating, or just generally being on the water

Seems easy.General Psychology was really fun. We got a new teacher, he is crazy, he will even tell you so. It was a lot of fun. He is paying someone to take notes for everyone who misses class, pretty sweet. This one lady already signed up to do it, but I sort of want to because I take really good notes. But I doddle and can not spell so I doubt I will sign up. Other than school the only thing I did on Wednesday was see a movie.

Thursday was just a day.I truly did nothing on Thursday, yesterday. I went to Subway with my friend and her boyfriend who I did not know was going. We ate and set around working on the Design for her tattoo which I REALLY need to get done today. That was really it. I swam with Anthony but other than those two things nothing happened. Oh. I lied. I was rejected by five businesses before lunch yesterday.

Today is far to early to tell how it will go. I found a gray hair, I am in desperate need for coffee and will be helping out at a local bakery for eight dollars an hours. I will get paid better than I have ever been paid, just to bag cookies. Pretty sweet.

Well. That has been my life. I hope I can keep updating daily, My life has just been moving away from my keyboard. And I do not understand the mobile blogging on her so I can not blog on the go. So sad. Ha Ha

BP

This is the blog I got this picture from.

I sat there and looked at all the comments people had on these pictures. And I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news but...

God is not going to fix this. I truly and sorry to those of you how think that we can just let god fix this, and not do anything our self. We have to do something. We have to fix this.

This has nothing to do with Obama. He did nothing to cause this and off shore drilling was before his term so he could not have prevented it. BP is completely to blame for the fate these poor creatures are facing. We all need to take a long hard look at what our lives styles are doing to these innocent animals. Yeah, BP is to blame but would BP be around if not for us? Would we need big oil companies?

Having been born in Louisiana, it just kills me to see what has happened to our birds and our wild life. This makes me want to ride a bike forever, I never want to drive a car or use oil.

Flea Dip

Just got back from taking Gwin to get a flea bath at PetCo. They did not charge much, however now I get to take her to the vet. They are pretty sure it is a her. I need to get her Distemper shot, a general exam and de-wormed. The people at PetCo couldn't believe I was even bringing her in to get cleaned. I guess a lot of people do not do that.

No mater how much I love pets, I am still cheap, I really will try to spend the least amount I can. But I never sacrifice the health of my babies. I have called around to get prices on how much it would cost to get this stuff done. The lady at the pet store said she knew a guy that would do it for cheap but it ended up being the same price at the vet we always go to. Not to mention I do not know if this new guys cost included the Distemper shot.

Taking in strays is a lot of work. And money.

I hope everyone thinks about this, and gets their pets Spayed / Neutered. It is really important that we keep cats and dogs off the street. We can keep shelters a little less full as well.

Gwin

So. Monday afternoon I drove out to Anthony's. Were it seems a small black cat crawled into my car. We are assuming thing because there have been no cats around my house and there is a ungodly amount roaming around were he lives.

Monday night my sister heard a cat outside and then saw it run under my car. I really wish that someone had told be that earlier yesterday because I kept hearing this cat and could not find out. Finally at three my mother tells me it was seen under my car, and I instantly know it is IN SIDE my car. So we pop the hood and see the cutest little black kitten.I pull him out and take him into my room to keep him away from the other cats for now.

We decided on the name Gwin for him/her because the kitten was found sleeping on top of some books on my book shelf and Gwin is the name of a little ferret in one of my favorite books. However, my sister protested his name for about an hour because she saw him first and she should get to name him. It was really annoying because my mother had agreed that I get to keep the kitten. Which I am not sure how I feel about that. I like my two guinea pigs and am happy with them. But I do not think a kitten will be that bad.

The poor thing is all dirty and scared. But last night he woke me up every two hours to play and explore my room. It was pretty cute but I wanted to sleep. Ty and Specs scare him thought, and I hope that they can be friends because I am not putting out my guinea pigs.

Memorial Day

Memorial Weekend was fun.
My father, sisters and I went "camping". You can not really call it camping which greatly upset me. We basically hangout at my fathers friends camper and cabin for the whole weekend. It was a lot of fun after a while. At first however I just wanted to leave I wanted nothing to do with this Air Conditioning and housing. I wanted to be in a tent.

I sucked it up and ending up having a lot of fun. Hung out with a really cool guy, that my dad insisted was flirting with me the whole time, but I never noticed. He was amazing though. I feel terrible for saying that. Anthony has my heart, but this guy sparked my interest. He was honestly, like no one I had ever talked to. But at the same time I was told he is a huge player which almost instantly made him boring to me. He was very attractive but I do not like it when someone goes from girl to girl, and his sister told me some terrible stories about him. I do not know why he would have been interested in me anyway. His girlfriend was there and she was so amazingly pretty. They were perfect for each other. Both draped head to toe in Holister.

Anyhow. Six of us went on an hour long hike. None of us had the right kinds of shoes. And with Kansas weather there is never anyway to know what to wear so I ended up dying in my long pants with my jacket tied around me. It was stunning there, and we plan on going back to hike the WHOLE site, which could take a few days. We're going to set up our tents and get good hiking supplies. I truly felling in love with hiking. Something I never thought would happen in Kansas. But I want to go to more sites, I want to do some hard core hiking in other states.

Summer Lovin'

My garden is still a baby. I know, it is really late to have a garden not in the ground yet. But unless you've tried to plant a garden in your yard, in Kansas you'll never truly understand how odd it can be. I mean, truly odd. We had a very hot dry start to spring and then BAM rain, just tons and tons of rain. April was the driest I have seen in forever but the first few weeks of May was nothing but rain.

The plot of land for our garden turned into muck. So while we try to get that fixed up the garden is in little plants. I can not wait to see them grown nice and pretty.

The plan is to make salsa when everything gets grown. Home-grown salsa. I am excited.

Graduation Day

It is nine and I have to be there at one.
I need to do my hair, makeup and put on the hideous gown. There will more than likely be pictures taken before we leave, so i will either update this post or make a new one of great pictures. Yay.

Yesterday was a TON of fun. My party went well, not a lot of people showed up but it was still fun. Anthony was last because of his concert but ended up getting neat by my dad at badminton and chess. It was really fun to watch, they get really competitive.
After my party I went to my friend Chelsea's and then I went to my friend Jess's. I ate way more food than I ever needed to.

Got just over a hundred dollars. Which is not really that bad considering I get to go to Disney world over the summer.

My First Graduation Gift

His name is Spec. Like the mole form G-Force.
He has a cowlick on the top of his head, and it is just the cutest little thing in the whole world.
He he about half the size of Tiberius, and is really really shy.

Hopefully he becomes more friendly.
If he never warms up to Ty I can take him back within 15 days. But I feel as though he will need more than two weeks to get used to his new roommate.


Yesterday I let him and Ty run around my room for about three hours. At first Ty was being very bad and 'dominating' Spec, but after a while they were really good. They even fell asleep on the skateboard under my bed. They were too cute.

_____________
I am having a sort of Graduation Party today. It was really short notice. I told only a few people to come over, and I am not even sure if anyone will. I hope some people do. But I do not see the point in the party. This is going to sound spoiled, but I am wondering if I am going to get ANY gifts for graduation, other than Specs that is. My mom said she got me something, but that is all I know about so far.Then again I am going to Disney world at the end of the summer. That is really my present. BEST PRESENT EVER.


All I want, is a job.

Goodbye?

Today was the official last day of school. Yesterday was my last day, but now it is really over for everyone.

I went to the year book signing thing. Sadly I was late so there was not a lot of people their. Which, kind of bothers me because everyone I talked to told me it was going to be lame and they were not going. However, as I was driving up I saw most of them leaving. So I signed about twice as books. I have yet to read what they say. I am not even sure if I want to read them yet. Maybe I will read them after Sunday. When my summer has really started.

I will hopefully take a million pictures Sunday. In my fabulous cap and gown. All 501 of us will look like large Kelly green penguins.

Eat Crackers.

Alright. Personally, I believe that ever public member of Peta needs to re think some things.
Yes, I am a member, I have a little card. But I also respect other people and their lives. I know that I hate it when people push their views in to my face, so I would never do it to them.

I understand that people eat meat.
My boyfriend and family eat meat. I do not yell at them, I do not throw paint on my mother when she wears leather. I have respect.

I just wish people from Peta knew that they give all vegetarians bad names.


Now. On a happy note. I adore the teen friends branch that is Peta2. They have a lot more less violent ways to get people interested. Also, I just love their shirt.

I will more than likely buy this once I get a job. Which I hoping is soon. My wish bracelet broke yesterday, so maybe just maybe my wish will come true soon. And it is not like I am leaving it up to the wish, I re submitted my application for the pet store, and tomorrow I will hopefully be putting in an application at the book store. Getting a job would be a great step for me.

Pop Maker

While poking around the blogs I am subscribed too I saw this post on Poppytalk.  It was a post about this niffty little ice pop maker called the Zoku Quick Pop Maker. The ice pops look so amazing I just had to check out the site and look at the info video. I really want to buy this thing.



All you have to do is freeze the base for about twenty four hours and then make sure the juice you are using is chilled as well. The first batch you make should only take seven to fifteen mintues to set up, if you do more after that they might take longer because the base will be getting warmer. You really can make whatever you want. The only down site I found was that you can only make three at a time. Yeah it is a quick was to do it and the speedy set up of the juice allows for a wide variety of mixing /layer option. I just wish it was twice as big, six would be a great number.

Cute Mini Trooper

I have no clue who took this picture, I found it on Xanga. I was just flipping through the sites I had subscribed to 5 years ago and thought I would see if they are still up and running. Most of them are. Which is pretty cool.

When I saw with picture I though of Anthony. He loves Star Wars and has said many many times that he would rock a Storm Trooped costume in public. I pray he never gets the chance. But this picture is just so cute. I love the little mini trooper.

I know this post was pointless, but I just had to post this cute picture.

Vogue

Just signed up to me a Vogue Insider.
Literally anyone can sign. What sold me was the fact that I could be able to test products before anyone else. If I could be a new job I would probably have no money still because I love to shop. It does not have to be crazy brand names but I love clothes. I adore putting on something new and looking good.

I have terrible self esteem so I try to makes myself feel good. I do not get dressed up for other people, I get dressed up for myself. I think people will think you look amazing if you think you look good. However this does not count if you think you look good wearing a  tutu over jeans. No will think you look good then.

Right now I am trying to pass time before I have to go to class.
I suppose I will curl back up on my bed with my May issue of Vogue. I think I might pick up Elle later. I used to get monthly issues from Elle, Glamour, Lucky and Allure. I hate that I am killing trees but I do not think that looking at the site is at all the same as laying on your bed getting sucked into the glossy pictures. I will miss the physicals things when the internet makes magazines less popular.

Tumblr

For some reason people keep telling me to get a tumblr.
I would love it if people would to explain to me what it is. I have looked at it and checked out my friends and honestly it really just looks like twitter and blogs had a baby. People just use it and post little videos, pictures and music files.

I really do not see the point.
I do the same thing on my blog. I post pictures, talk about my day.
It seems like tumblr is just so you can post longer twitter posts. All the ones I have seen are just little random blurbs from some ones day. Just like twitter, only longer than 140 characters.

Go me.

My chemistry grade is a B. Yeah a B. I am really happy about this. For the longest time my grades were mostly A's and two C's. But the C's were not low ones they were really high ones, like so close the should just round them. But I finally did it.

With eight days left of school, but I still did it.



My letter I started today is also done now. I hope.
Tomorrow I am going to come back to it and look at it some more, maybe change a little bit up.

I love the idea of letter writing. I think it is truly a lost art. Not just writing someone a letter but getting good paper and that perfect pen that makes your hand writing better. Saying what you want to say in your own words, not simply typing them and hitting sending. Going out and spending forever buying stamps because it really does matter if the stamp is good.

Image Source

Happy Mothers Day

This morning I made my mother blue berry muffins and it was a lot of fun. Normal I am no good at baking so I love it when I do good. This mothers day was so amazing. My sister and I got her a big thing of flowers, a candle burner (because her's just broke), two stunning necklaces and a princess crown. Great set of gifts. We got her a card too that I loved. I suppose I am a bad gift giver but I always pick out the MOST perfect card ever.


_____________
And now since I am the mother of all procrastinators I am finally starting my letter to congress. I have to write one for my government class. It is 25% of my overall grade, it is more than my final.

I am writing it asking about a sort of Eco 'cash for clunkers'

5.7.10

Life has been so crazy weird lately.

I am trying to grasp that in 8 school days I will no longer be a high school student. Yeah, I am excited about life, I am nervous as hell about my college classes. (More so now since I can not find a math class) I am just a little nervous about graduation. Will I trip in my four inch zebra heels? Will something bad happen randomly? Yeah, I do wonder about random bad things happening. I just worry about things.

I should just live my life, but I will never stop thinking about what could happen. However, I would not say that I am paranoid. I guess I am to a point but I do not think the world is ending and I know that the world is not out to get me. I just hate embarrassing moments, because I have a lot of them.
_____________________

Ty might be sick. He is acting off. This morning he was fine, but when I got him from school he was acting just odd. Laying around not moving at all and did not want any of his hay. He never walks away from his hay. But for about ten minutes he was acting completely normal. Right now he is laying around again. I am worried about him because when small animals get sick it can go bad fast. However I am not REALLY worried because he is acting a little better, he even ran around for a little while. Hopefully he is just tired.

Apartments

Am I really looking at apartments? I can not believe that this tab is open on my computer. I never thought moving out would be a real idea right now.

Yeah, I am happy with my house and my family. But I want to move out.
Because I am afraid that I am going to end up like my sister. She is twenty, no higher education, and just now got a job. I am starting summer classes and am enrolled in fall classes, I am trying to get a job, but I am afraid that something will happen and I will end up like my sister.

Open House

Every year the art classes have open house. EVERYONE shows their work. The airbrush kids, the drawing and painting kids, the photo kids and even the drafting kids. Needless to say but it is a huge deal. Open house week is hell for the teachers and the kids but the night is always fun.

The senior get to put up their stuff out in the halls. Everyone else has theirs in the rooms. I am not going to get a place on the wall. Which, sadly makes me want to cry.The four years I have been in art lead up to this. I have been waiting all these years to put myself up on the wall. But I dropped out of art. She said I can still put stuff up, but no one bothered to tell me that open house was today. I found out last, people were talking about it on facebook.

It hurts. I think it is lame that I am so sad about this. I guess I am not an art kid anymore, I do not know what I am then. I have always been an art kid.

Senior Picture

I might finally be taking senior pictures.

Anthony and I are going to go to the botanical garden and take pictures. Since everything around me will be colorful I think I am going to wear a black and white outfit. I have the perfect outfit planned, the only problem is it has long sleeves and I do not want to melt in all black.

I adore this outfit though. I got the dress for graduation and the jacket I got for Christmas. The sad part of spring is I can not wear it a lot. However there is a white one just like it at Wal*Mart that I might pick up. I love the idea of a white blazer for spring. It will go with anything and it is less lightly to get really hot. Not to mention the fabric is light. Spend fourteen dollars on a blazer that I would wear a million times, all I would have to do is cut off the buttons and sew on cute ones. I hate the Miley buttons that come on theses blazers, so I replaced the ones on my black one.


Bag-O-Random buttons is the best thing I have ever bought. No joke.

Summer

 Image Source

It really does finally feel like summer time. I cannot
believe how amazing it has been outside recently. And the fence in the back yard is almost done. Which means I will get to start gardening soon. I know it is a little late to start but I have faith in my fathers ability to keep them alive.

Sadly I do not plan to still be at home next summer so this will be my only year with the new back yard. But it also means I can make a smaller garden for my place when I leave. The idea of having my own hous just makes me smile. I have been watching HG TV my whole life, and my house will be amazing. I can not wait to decorate it, Anthony even said if we get a place together I am aloud to pretty much do whatever I want as long as he does not absolutely hate it. Which is perfectly understandable, why would you do something you know the person you live with does not like.

Like my mom just painted the main wall of our dining room this deep terracotta color. My father HATES it. But she does not care at all, she ignored the color choices he liked and went for the one she wanted regardless. I would never do that, a house is a home to everyone inside it and they should all be happy. 

29 votes

I am pretty happy. I have twenty nine votes for the vegetarian thing. However the girl in the lead has over three thousand. I know I am not going to win but I think it is really cool and fun.

I know I have not posted in a few days. Been really busy around then house.
Friday I went to see my best friend. She has been in PA for the past six months, and I have missed her a lot. She leaves again today. I believe there are wedding bells in the near future for her so I might be going up to PA. Pretty excited about that.

Yesterday I helped my father dig some holes for the fence. We're splitting the back yard so half can be fore people and a garden, and the other half for our four dogs. Honestly the half they are going to have now is still twice the size of our old back yard. I love this house. Yesterday we also started a dog for our puppy. We have two, but we need a third one. Our dogs are really spoiled. Oh! I also helped my mother paint a wall. This task was no fun.

Today has just been a lot of cleaning. Got a ton done in just a few hours. That is my favorite kind of day,

CVA?

I either just did something amazing or something embarassing.

I signed myself up for peta2's annual "Cutest Vegetarian Alive" contest. Some of the girls on here are stunning, so I do not see my chances being very good. However I do really think it would be amazing if I made it at least to the finalist. Winning is not the most important thing, I think making it that far would be pretty cool.

So, everyone reading this should be amazing and vote for me.

http://cutestveg2010.peta2.com/Contestant.aspx?cid=2679

Hmm

Now I am starting to over think everything. I will only have two weeks of summer before I start my summer classes. But I will only be at school from eight ish to three thirty ever Monday and Wednesday. Hopefully that does not effect me getting a job. I will probably not tell them I can not work those days until right before it happens, I will just ask them to change my available hours. School would be twelve hours a week and I do not see myself getting much more than ten hours of work a week over the summer.

I know everyone reading this is really sick of hearing me talk about getting a job, but I do not see it stopping until I get that job. Calling tomorrow about the two I applied for Tuesday.

I wonder

I wonder how much blogging I am going to get done over the summer, since I will be taking my first college classes. I am insanely excited.

I am however now in desperate need of a job. Over the summer I am going to be taking General Psychology and English Comp 1, which is going to cost me 481.50. This means I need to get a job so that I can help my parents pay for the classes. And it means I REALLY need a job to help pay off the 900+ for my fall semester.



I do not think I should be this happy to be taking more classes.

Nervous?

Yeah. I suppose nervous could describe how I feel.

I turned in the two applications I filled out yesterday. I have no idea what to think. Now I get to wait until they call me, so until I break and call them. How long should I wait? Should I call at the end of the week? Or next Tuesday? There are so many things to think about and be nervous about.


 I really want either job, any job.

Not only am I nervous about that I am nervous about tomorrow. I am going to enroll for my classes or at least talk to the man about enrolling. We do not by any means have the money to pay for my classes so we're going to talk to them about it. I know that I should have filled out my FAFSA (Free Application for Federal Student Aid). But my mother is leaving her job this summer so I do not know if that will change it. EECK. So much to be thinking about.

SHAPE Pilates

Wow. I just had the worst ten minutes of my life. The fact that the word fun was used in the title of my ab work out is wrong.

I bought this Pilates DVD over winter break. I almost never use it but I am going to. I have the worst commitment issues, when it comes to stuff like this. I think if I was taking a class it would be easier beacuse there would be a person there making me do stuff and helping me. Like this fall semester I had a P.E. class were we did do pilates and I fell in love with it.

However, in my room. There is no one to tell me to do it, and there are countless distractions. Like right now. I did one work out and then I got online. In a minute I am going to endure another ten minutes if hell and work out my legs. I love how my core/ abs are all tight and sore. It means it's working!

Changed my mind

Instead of applying at the fashion place I applied at two restaurants near my house and school. The two girls that sit in front of me in English, each work at one the places. So they told me I had a good chance of getting something. I would love to be a waitress again. Might be weird to say this, but I loved being a waitress it would a lot of fun.

Having money would be amazing too. But it is mostly the going crazy with boredom and not being independent that is killing me. I need something to do. Other wise I sit in my room and eat, which is bad.  Yeah I might see Anthony less if I get a new job but I worked 15 - 20 hours a week at my first job and we ALWAYS made time to hangout.

Having a job is really important to me. Things seem to be coming together. I am going to meet with my college Wednesday and I am applying for jobs again.

Oh my. My bike?

There are no words for how mad I am right now, but of course I have more than enough words to tell you why I am mad.

Today my father has been working on cleaning out the garage so we can park my mothers newly fixed car in it. Tacos were ready so he came into the house to eat and take a break. Leaving the door to the garage open. About half an hour later he comes back into the house and starts to clean again. Oddly he only sees one of our two bikes. So he starts to look around, maybe it was moved. Nope.

Someone came into our garage and stole it. Considering the amount and the height of the cars in our drive way the person would have had to walk up and look around first. They must have been on foot because if they were in a car they probably would have taken some of the MANY tools laying around.

I am so pissed. Why would you do that?! Why would you walk onto someones property and seal something that you know is not yours. I will never understand people, I will never figure out why someone could just take something. And it is not like it was outside out house, it was IN our garage. Leaning against the back of the garage. They walked all the way into the back of the garage and took it! AND NO ONES SAW IT.

Grr. People need to respect other property.

Goodwill

Today was pretty funny. I convinced my mom and dad to head up to our local goodwill. The hunt was on for the perfect frame for a print I am interested in getting. I would put up the picture but I can not seem to get it to post. Sorry.

While at Goodwill me and my mother found really nice (NEW) contour pillows for three dollars, this pretty niffy hot pocket maker (that looks just like one we used to have. AND also a ten dollar cage for my mothers rat that looks just like the one she was going to spend seventy on. So I ended up saving my mother sixty dollars and still never found the prefect frame. Lucky there is a Goodwill across from the community college I plan to go to, and am visiting this week. So the hunt it still on for the perfect frame.

(Picture Source)

Cato

Applying for a job Monday after school. Cato is this sort of high end, but still cheap clothing store. I really do not know how to describe this store. The girl who sits next to me in Physics was talking about how she applied there and had an interview. However she also said that the woman said they would contact her later because they are still waiting for more people to apply. I was a waitress for almost a years so I do not know if this store will care about me.

I just really want a new job. I am so bored.

Do not feed the models?

I haven't had much to say lately. I suppose that is because I haven't been doing anything lately.

Just going to school, doing homework, and sometimes hanging out with friends. My life lately has been nothing to blog about. Possibly the only thing I could talk about is my oddly low self esteem recently.
I am not really sure why but recently I have felt terrible about my body. I can think of two reason why I would be a little down but not this bad. I tried on my graduation gown and it made me look like a whale, yeah, that did not help me feel good about myself. And then the other day my mom told me I am gaining weight, she seriously meant I am gaining enough weight to make her question if I am pregnant. Which I am not. I've been sad, so I have been eating, which is making this whole body image thing worse.

I never had a problem with my body. Well, nothing more than a normal girl. My bestfriend since the second grade was a tall blond tan blue eyed athlete. That does not makes you feel good about yourself, but I never hated my body, I was me. I never liked being pale, so my mother allowed me to start tanning (I shall talk about tanning in another post). I paid for it, I went maybe once a week for a few months and then I stopped. That is until I needed a little color for dances, and what not. I am by no means tan but I am also not pale. I am happy. I was never skinny nor was I ever fat. I really did think I was happy with my body. When I was a freshmen and a sophomore I wore a size small and size 3 jean. Now I wear a medium and a size 4 /5. I am by no means fat. I can say that. But I still feel like when people look at me they see someone larger.

I am afraid that I am going to fall back into bad habits. Between freshmen and sophomore year I got really really depressed, and I lost a good bit of weight. I never noticed it, until one day I say a picture of me on a friends Myspace. You could see my ribs and my size small shirts where hanging off of me. I wasn't eating. But honestly, I did not notice. It makes me feel stupid to say that now, but I really did not notice I was skipping meals or that I would go whole days without eating a real meal until I saw that picture.

I know that I am not fat. I just wish I was happy with my body. Also I wish no one in the whole world was ever aloud to say something negative about a person body.

Awe?

I am truly in awe.

Alright, today had an interesting bump. I get to school and C runs up to me asking me to skip the first part of class and come with her. She seemed really frantic so I did. Turns out J was popping pills last night and could barely stand today, she fell out of her chair and could not walk straight. 
J has always had a problem with a pill dependency (she use to have a really bad sleeping problem and the doctor proscribed her highly addictive pills) She got over it, she was doing really good. The she met this girl, her new bestfriend. Well this girl is into hardcore drugs, she has an advance past. J had smoked but never did anything big until she started hanging out with this girl. Now she's cutting class and doing X. I never thought this would happen. Lucky I thought everything was getting better when she told me she was not going to do shrooms / anything 'hardcore'. I really did think things were getting better, I thought she was stopping. She told me she had gotten better about pills. I believed her.

I really am worried about her. I really am.

On a happier note, I got a B on the chem test I took. Before the test I was pretty sure I was going to get a great grade. However while I was taking it my mind changed and I thought I was going to fail for sure. The B was really nice to see. My grade now is a 78.5 which when rounded is a 79, however an overall B for the class is a 79.5 . I am pretty sure I can get my grade up to that.

My English grade is pretty close too. I have an 79.1 so close. But I am pretty sure that the vocab test I just took will bump that up.

on hold

Just called about enrolling at the community college near where I live and they put me on hold. The first girl I talked to was really nice and helpful. She told me what I need to do to enroll and who I need to talk to. She also reassured me that my ACT score had been sent. Yay. However, she had to transfer me to ask about my High school Transcript. Now this lady, was not nice. She was very to the point and sort of spoke to me like I was five.

It would be impossible for my graduation stuff to be with my transcript since I have yet to graduate. Duh? Alright, so this lady put me on hold. I am already having a panic attack in fear of sounding stupid over the phone and she leaves me with my own thoughts on hold?! Evil woman.

Somehow, I survived the phone call. Now I just have to go talk to one of the people there and see what I need to enroll and which classes I should take for the nursing degree. I am excited.

Three "Sisters"

The past 6 years of my left led to this. Three friends that were way more than friends at one point.

It kills me that the three of us are not as good of friends as we used to be. I wish That everything was the same way it was when we were in the 8th grade. But I do know that four years and high school can change you. The three of us are different people now, but those memories will never be forgotten.

There is nothing about our lives that I would change. Even growing apart was a piece of our journey. But I know, that I will never forget these girls.



I wish them the best of luck with everything they do in life.

12 hours

12 hours of my life yesterday was given to Prom. Starting with getting my hair done at 4pm to walking into my door at 4:30am.

Yesterday was the best night ever.
I will post more about it later, and I will put up the pictures from last night too.

3 years

It has been at least three years since I hung out with my two best friends at once. We were inseparable growing up but high school made that harder. We were in a lot of different classes and made different friends. However, due to someone dropping out of my Prom group both of my best friends are going to be able to be in my prom group. I am insanely happy about this.

J, is moving away for college so I might never get to see her again. Which freaks me out, a lot. I know I am going to miss her, but I have a bunch of great memories with her.

C is staying here but I will most likely never see her either. She is the busiest person I know.

I love both of them a bunch, the fact that we're all going to be together for Senior Prom makes me so happy. And trust me there will be a billion pictures up Sunday.

Library Card

Fixing my application to the Book Store, and thinking about going to the Library to get a Library Card. I have never had one before. Whenever I needed a book I normally had it, or I could go to the school. However, now I am about to leave school.

I love to read. I wish it did not take that long though. I think that is why I like movies, beacuse it all gets done in about two hours. Books take longer, but I still love them. I love getting sucked into a good book. Lately that has been older books though.
Recently published books all seem to be the same. This vampire craze is killing me, I have no read any of the Twilight books and never plan to. I read the firs chapter of the first book and found it completely lacking in depth, and I could not understand how people fell in love with his plot. Also, this part is about the movie, I watched the first one and can not believe that girls love with main character. He is mentally and physically abusive, why would anyone wish they had that? Really? This Twilight rant could go on forever, but I shall stop.

Anyways. I love reading books more than I like watching movies. I love to get lost in the words and the settings. I like seeing my own people as the characters (Hollywood always gets it wrong.). I hope with all my art that movies will not take over, and I hope that great classics are made during my time. There is nothing better than stepping into an old Book Store, but I would love to find a new book that pulls me in like those old ones can.

Busy

Yesterday my father got the part he needed to fix my mothers car. So the two of use spend just about 5 hours in the garage putting the car back together after fixing it. Needless to say we were happy when it was all said and done.

However. We were not done. I guess when the car broke down the first time another part of the engine was damaged. There was no way we could have known this before. Kind of sucks. Now we're waiting until Friday to get a part so that we can fix it. Estimated time is 20 minutes to fix it once we get the part.

There is a point to me posting that too. I spent all of yesterday working on the car. I am an eighteen year old girl and I spent my Tuesday working on a car. I am by no means a tom boy. I read Vogue, watch Americans Next Top Modle all the time, and refuse to leave my house with out at least a light mascara on. Stereo types are one of my biggest pet peeves. Being sexist is another thing that bothers me. When I told someone what I was doing yesterday they drilled me over what I did, they also gave me a dirty look when I relayed what happened. I did however not know the names of the parts, but I did a good job describing to this guy what I did. Needless to say he was not very happy when I answered.

I just do not understand why someone would think I was lying.

I wish the closed minded people of the world would open up and look at real people. Just because I wear heels and watch What Not to Wear doesn't meant I can't put an car back together or take honors chemistry two. Just because I do Yoga in the mornings doesn't meant I do not know how to use power tools.

What now?

I mailed in the CD for my Art House project. I am not really sure what I should do now. My father and I can not think of anymore project to do. There are only so many things you can build.

The weather has been getting better so I might go to the part and paint. I need to find some more flowers I can press. Anthony says I can not just pick flowers. I know that picking flowers from in front of someones house is wrong, but I do not think the same is true about a school. I know, that it is more than likely wrong. But I adore pressed flowers.
I love to paint flowers to. All things nature actually. Even though everyone is looking at the same thing they might be seeing vastly different things.

This Friday is going to be cool. I'm getting to meet the author of a book I read for English. I can not say that I have ever met an author before, and I liked this book a lot so I'm excited. My mother gave me the money to go pick up a copy today. The buying of the book was suppose to happen a while ago but we both sort of forgot. I feel bad though, I got mad at her for forgetting. And she was all confused because yesterday I said there was no point to get it. But I was a little frustrated that the day at finally come. But we talked about it.

I'm excited

Designer?

I was telling Anthony how I felt like I had no purpose because I have no job. Which is true.

But then later I started to work on a new project with my dad. We took apart my old entertainment center and then using parts from my sisters old computer and the old crates we built a new one. I wish I had taken pictures of it before. I love the after. Although it is visibly three different types of wood I love it.

However, we're not done. Later we're going to had hooks to the front and a dowel rod across the front so that we can hang a curtain to hid the TV it's self. Because personally, I think TV's are ugly but I love to watch TV shows and work out. Taking the TV out was not an option, so this is what ended up happening and I couldn't be happier.


I love to build stuff with my dad. Maybe I will be a Designer. That would be fun.

Here is the amazing entertainment center we made. Feel free to ignore the messiness that is my bed room. I also have a picture of some of my pressed flowers on top of my entertainment center.

 

Down time

I am slowly going crazy. I have way to much free time and no money.
This whole not having a job thing is driving me so crazy.

I can honestly say I have killed so many tress applying at every store in my town. Not mention the monster sized handful of store I have applied at outside of the town. But I have gotten no bites. None.

Everyone keeps telling me that places are hiring for the summer. They might be but they do not want me.

Work Bench?

So, this the past few days I have helped my father build a work bench and two saw horses. I love it and think it rocks. The whole thing is made of really nice wood that he got from work. Every piece was once part of a crate to haul stuff in. I think it's cool. Each piece has a lot of personality. Some have been written on, some have huge gorgeous knots on them, and some have really pretty tiger like wood grain. Over all it is great. The only think we have left to do if by peg board for the back, the only think for whole bench that will be purchased.

 Not the most flattering picture of me. But hey, I was excited. I have never build anything like this before. Not to mention this was the all done in about three hours. Pretty sweet.

Oh. The fence looking things behind me are the saw horses we made. They are by no means attractive but they get the job done. No pictures were taken of them because aren't the best piece of carpentry.

Frankenstein

I am working on my paper for class tomorrow and going crazy.
Somehow most of the paper just flowed right onto the page but now I am left with half of a conclusion and no clue what to put. This always happens to me. Every time I write a paper his happens.

Not like it really matters. No matter how hard I try my teacher will give me a C. Maybe since I did this one last minute and did not put a ton of thought into it I will magically get a B. A B would be fantastic since I have an overall C in the class. My English class is out to get me, it really is. I will always get a C on a paper and when I get a good grade on something I will fail something else just to keep my grade down.

Prom

April 17th is Prom. I can not believe it is this close. I am so excited.
I need to find a necklace and figure out how I want my hair to look, but as far as the dress goes. I am in love.

I've been tanning so I should be a little bit more color by the time it is prom, but I will not be getting a spray tan this year. I was just too tan last year for prom.



EECK. I can't wait!

Release the Kraken

Saw Clash of the Titans last night.
Not going to lie, it was pretty sweet.

Today, I have a few things to do.
I really need to get my room cleaned. That is if the vacuum decides to work.
I also need to clean Ty's cage and help my mother with Bella's.
Not today specifically, but this weekend I have to finish Frankenstein and write my paper. I like the book a lot. My sister and I got into a huge debate about how she feels sorry for the Doctor, but I feel sorry for the Creature. Which I do. My paper is about how the create developed into more of a human than his creator.

Yeah. He did no bad things, but he was basically a child. An eight foot tall zombie child, but he was still child like. All he ever learned was hate, he only knew good from the people in the woods. And you can not really blame him for being mad when his 'friends' attacked him. He was hurt.

Bum Bum Bum New Project

I know I said I was going to start working on stuff for dog toys. Well that was before I found the coolest thing ever. At the local craft store I found six Matryoshka dolls, for seven dollars. There are no words for how happy I was.

I painting them for Anthony. But it's a secret. I'm not going to say the theme but I bet someone figures it out when I post the smallest one, which I almost have painted.




________________
I need to go out a buy a CD, or disk or something that I can put my pictures on for the Art House Project. I only have four out or ten done but I only need three to submit. The whole thing is due by April 15th, so I do not foresee myself doing another one. Unless I get some crazy inspiration. The six I have left to look at are; Lost at Sea, Green houses and red fences, Just a minute just a second, ducks lots of ducks (I might have an old piece I can submit for this one) , Cats with their heads out windows and undeniably geek.

I will post the duck picture later and deiced if I could use it. That way I have half done. Which I feel better about that only doing four. No matter what though I get to be in a book. YAY. However, that means I will spend the next for days taking just about a million pictures of the pieces to get the perfect ones. Sounds fun.