This letter is honestly the hardest letter to write, because I do not have a bestfriend. Me and the people I kept close have all changed over the years and sadly I have drifted from a lot of people. So this letter is to all the people I kept close, and all I things I want to say.
Dear C, I miss you with every fiber of my being, but I miss the old you. High school turned you into someone who kept secrets and cheated on boyfriends, someone I never thought you would be. You always had the right words for every situation and you always seemed to know who you were. Our personalities did not always click but we knew how to work around that and I miss having that bond in my life. I was always jealous of how perfect I thought your life was and it wasn't until we grew a part that I learn that you were flawed like the rest of us. I wish you had never kept secrets, but I wish I had been able to see that we were falling a part. I miss you, but the old you. I don't know if I can miss a person that would keep someone of the secrets you kept form me.
Dear J, I am glad we still talk, I need a little crazy in my life. We used to stay up all night talking about things that no one else would get, things that no one else would be able to follow. I felt like you were a piece of me separated at birth and that I was lucky to have found you. We fought sometimes too, as all girls do, but never bad fights. Until that one. I am sorry about the things I sad about your brother, I am sorry for not trusting you, I am sorry for judging you. I wonder if that fight is what broke us apart, because I do not know if we'll be the same again. Even though we are not best friends I love that you are still a part of my life. We grew up into new people, better people, but we both still have a little crazy in us.
Dear (different) C, I do not know if I miss you. I text you when I am sad and need someone to talk to, but I do not missing being with you. We had fun when we hung out, you were one of the best friends I could have ever had. But, you always caused a lot of drama in my life. I think I lost a lot of good friends because I stood up for you, which I never regretted until you turned on me. You thought everything was about you and when my dad lost his job and I was upset you made it about you, you ignored me to whine about a girl that was never going to be a part of your life again. You, are the reason you are not with K. You acted like a poison to the people who tried to be close to you, you did the same thing to her that you did to me.
I always try to blame myself when I lose a friend, but I can't this time. You made my life hell with drama, you pushed people away from me and then pushed me away from you. I miss the girl I knew years ago, I miss the girl that didn't care what people thought. I miss the part of you that was an explorer and a thinker and an artist, NOT the parts of you that were a fighter, and a drama queen and a bully.
Dear E, I wish you were still here. Nothing bad ever happened between us except you fell in love and moved. Your boyfriend is amazing, he is the sweetest guy ever but I guess I'll always hate him a little for taking you. My summer was boring without, there was not Wii Fit and going to the part at crazy hours of the morning. I hate out way less and job way less as well. I miss out job together, I miss art class together, I miss how funny you were without trying. I am really glad you met this new guy, because your old wasn't good for you. I always hated to see you sad because I knew you could laugh twenty four seven. Move back?
August 17, 2010
I changed my mind
I am not going to do the tumblr thing right now, thought I might sometime in the future.
This is what I am going to do.
Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you've drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that's not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror
This is what I am going to do.
Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you've drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that's not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror
August 16, 2010
I am going to do something.
This is called thirty days of tumblr but since I do not believe in tumblr I shall do it here.
- Day 01 — Your favorite song
- Day 02 — Your favorite movie
- Day 03 — Your favorite television program
- Day 04 — Your favorite book
- Day 05 — Your favorite quote
- Day 06 — Whatever tickles your fancy
- Day 07 — A photo that makes you happy
- Day 08 — A photo that makes you angry/sad
- Day 09 — A photo you took
- Day 10 — A photo of you taken over ten years ago
- Day 11 — A photo of you taken recently
- Day 12 — Whatever tickles your fancy
- Day 13 — A fictional book
- Day 14 — A non-fictional book
- Day 15 — A fanfic
- Day 16 — A song that makes you cry (or nearly)
- Day 17 — An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
- Day 18 — Whatever tickles your fancy
- Day 19 — A talent of yours
- Day 20 — A hobby of yours
- Day 21 — A recipe
- Day 22 — A website
- Day 23 — A YouTube video
- Day 24 — Whatever tickles your fancy
- Day 25 — Your day, in great detail
- Day 26 — Your week, in great detail
- Day 27 — This month, in great detail
- Day 28 — This year, in great detail
- Day 29 — Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
- Day 30 — Whatever tickles your fancy
August 15, 2010
College
Anthony starts school on Thursday, which is our twenty three month anniversary. Two years in September. I am so excited for it to happen, I think it will really show that we can do this. Recently the two of us have had doubts, because we never get to see each other, but I believe we have been trying.
College is going to be one of those test, but not just for us as a couple but for each of us as people. I am excited for it to really start. My summer classes made me ready. I am worried about two things, Anthony and I being to busy and that I won't get the 'A' I need in my Anatomy class.Making time to see each other, making dates, seeing movies, just hanging out playing video games. We decided to get in touch with the best friends we used to be, however we still do couple stuff. It is like we're the couple we started out as, which is a good thing. We were bestfriend for as long as I can remember and I loved it. But I would never change being his girlfriend.
A few weeks ago we called it quits, for about a day. That's when we realized we cannot do that, neither of us could handle what it felt like to be separated. I remember the text he sent after he left my house that morning. "I thought I could be strong for the both of us. I thought this was what I wanted, but it hurts to much" I know he meant it, I've only ever seen him cry to other times.
I think we can stand the test of time. All couples have their bad patches. I believe that the ups and downs are tests that make you into a great couple. They make you into two strong people.
August 14, 2010
Yummy in my tummy
I am taking my boyfriend, Anthony, out to dinner tonight. I know, isn't he the one that should be taking me out? Nope, this is a treat for him for simply being him. When I used to have a job we would go out to eat all the time taking turns paying. Well for the past year, he's always had to pay. Needless to say, it's my turn.
We're going to a place called Cheddar's. I LOVE IT. However, now I have to pick from a sandwich and this yummy veggie plate. The only reason I want their veggie plate is because I am madly in love with their broccoli and cheese casserole. But, I can probably get that as a side with my sandwich. My stomach is already happy about this idea.
Since I worked a weird shift yesterday, I was unable to eat dinner. So, I am going to make an insane omlet and get ready for another, less weird, shift.
But first, I do love my job. But yesterday was a terrible day. The AC in our hours went out. Well upon getting home mother and sisters start babying my father because he had to fix it. He was outside for ten minutes, I know this because I was at the ninety degree house from six am to noon. No one cared that I was there because they thought I was at work, why? Because my dad said I worked nine to five, but I said I worked four to ten. They assumed he was right. Then at work I had to work four to ten which then turned into four to eleven thirty with no lunch break. At home I had been unable to eat because the heat was making me sick. Why didn't I leave? Because my dork father took my car, and his keys. Unlike his key chain, mine only has the keys to my car and no other. So I was left with my keys and his car, doesn't work. After my shitty shift I come home and my parents had gotten Chinese, but none for me. Coming home at midnight does not mean I want to cook, it means I want to re heat something to eat. But no, they did not think to get me anything.
I went to bed pissed off and hungrier than I have ever been. But I feel great now.
Now for the omelet.
We're going to a place called Cheddar's. I LOVE IT. However, now I have to pick from a sandwich and this yummy veggie plate. The only reason I want their veggie plate is because I am madly in love with their broccoli and cheese casserole. But, I can probably get that as a side with my sandwich. My stomach is already happy about this idea.
Since I worked a weird shift yesterday, I was unable to eat dinner. So, I am going to make an insane omlet and get ready for another, less weird, shift.
But first, I do love my job. But yesterday was a terrible day. The AC in our hours went out. Well upon getting home mother and sisters start babying my father because he had to fix it. He was outside for ten minutes, I know this because I was at the ninety degree house from six am to noon. No one cared that I was there because they thought I was at work, why? Because my dad said I worked nine to five, but I said I worked four to ten. They assumed he was right. Then at work I had to work four to ten which then turned into four to eleven thirty with no lunch break. At home I had been unable to eat because the heat was making me sick. Why didn't I leave? Because my dork father took my car, and his keys. Unlike his key chain, mine only has the keys to my car and no other. So I was left with my keys and his car, doesn't work. After my shitty shift I come home and my parents had gotten Chinese, but none for me. Coming home at midnight does not mean I want to cook, it means I want to re heat something to eat. But no, they did not think to get me anything.
I went to bed pissed off and hungrier than I have ever been. But I feel great now.
Now for the omelet.
August 13, 2010
91
It is 91 degrees inside my house and 107 outside my house.
I am unbelievably happy about going to work in an hour. I should be home around 11 which means that the house should be all nice and cool.
My first paycheck sucked, but the one I got today was really amazing. This is the paycheck that I plan to get some new sheets/bed covers for as well as by some art supplies. I do not know if I really need much more art stuff. I have some old canvases that I can use but I do not REALLY want to. Or at least, not for what I want to start working on. There is a tree thing I plan to use the old canvas for.
Something sorta like the one to the right, only with three panels not five. I have this plaster stuff I want to try mixing with the paint to make the leaves. Personally I think it'll work and look amazing, but I could be wrong. Willing to take that risk. Hehe.
I might have to buy some oils, I love the background and I can not do that with acrylics. BUT I do not think I can do the plaster thing with oils. Hmm. Then again oils are way thicker so it might work out anyways. Eeck. I am so excited for this.
I am unbelievably happy about going to work in an hour. I should be home around 11 which means that the house should be all nice and cool.
My first paycheck sucked, but the one I got today was really amazing. This is the paycheck that I plan to get some new sheets/bed covers for as well as by some art supplies. I do not know if I really need much more art stuff. I have some old canvases that I can use but I do not REALLY want to. Or at least, not for what I want to start working on. There is a tree thing I plan to use the old canvas for.
Something sorta like the one to the right, only with three panels not five. I have this plaster stuff I want to try mixing with the paint to make the leaves. Personally I think it'll work and look amazing, but I could be wrong. Willing to take that risk. Hehe.
I might have to buy some oils, I love the background and I can not do that with acrylics. BUT I do not think I can do the plaster thing with oils. Hmm. Then again oils are way thicker so it might work out anyways. Eeck. I am so excited for this.
August 10, 2010
remodeling
I would not get purple sheets but m
aybe cream sheets (Because the background is more of a creamy color in person). Also, I do not know if I'll have the cute pillow with the bird because that one is not a pillow case, it is a thirteen dollar pillow. But I do love it.
Hopefully when I buy it, it looks great with my room I would hate to have to take it back. My walls are pink-ish purple, so they should look break with this set. The only thing I am worried about is the fact that I have a futon and not a normal bed. But that shouldn't be a problem. When the futon is down it is a normal bed and when it is up I can just fold the comforter up and lay it over the back, or use it as an 'couch cover'.
I also am re-modeling my guinea pig cage. Right now they are in a 7 square foot store bought cage, that I will be soon adding another 7 square feet too. Since my room is pretty small I have to build the cage up and not out. It is going to be pretty amazing. I spent all night last night putting together the grid for the new section and thinking of great things I could do for the floor.
This site c and c cages helped me out a lot, there are so many ways to give your piggies an amazing house. Personally I think they need a great house because I live a very long time, four to eight years.
August 8, 2010
long time no see
It has been just under a month since I last posted.
I hate to see that the last thing anyone hear about way my tattoo.
The follow Tuesday of that week I started my new job and since that day I have had been busy. And I really mean busy. Not just sorta busy and not feeling like getting online, but so busy the only time I get online is to check my e-mail (because my phone hates me and won't send me e-mails). I will be starting my fall semester in two weeks so I do not know how much blogging I will be done. My tweeting died out as well because I have nothing to say.
Hopefully things will be better as I adjust to this new life. I have never in my life worked 35 hours a week, as well as went to school full time.
Sorry in advance, but I for see a lot of post about how much I hate working during the back to school season as well as post about how my anatomy class.
Well. I hope to post better and more entertaining blogs again soon.
I will try to get back to posting almost everyday, although I do not even know if people read this.
I hate to see that the last thing anyone hear about way my tattoo.
The follow Tuesday of that week I started my new job and since that day I have had been busy. And I really mean busy. Not just sorta busy and not feeling like getting online, but so busy the only time I get online is to check my e-mail (because my phone hates me and won't send me e-mails). I will be starting my fall semester in two weeks so I do not know how much blogging I will be done. My tweeting died out as well because I have nothing to say.
Hopefully things will be better as I adjust to this new life. I have never in my life worked 35 hours a week, as well as went to school full time.
Sorry in advance, but I for see a lot of post about how much I hate working during the back to school season as well as post about how my anatomy class.
Well. I hope to post better and more entertaining blogs again soon.
I will try to get back to posting almost everyday, although I do not even know if people read this.
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