One of those days

Re arranged my room. Nothing really movies much I just put the book shelf on a different wall and pulled the bed down about a foot. Now it is about middle on the wall it is on. Which gives me more room in the corner where my art stuff is. My room always looks bigger right after I move my stuff around.

And now somehow I have ended up on Farmville. I am addicted, I stopped playing for a while but recently I started playing again. It is addictive. I love all the cute little animals and just pretending to be a farmer. As I type my little farmer is harvesting the last egg plants I need to master them. And after that I will keep working on mastering pumpkins. I have a little under a thousand left before I am done with them. Yeah, that is a giant number. It takes forever to, because I have to wait 8 hours before I can harvest them.

However, all of that is fun but it is not what I should be doing. I need to be reading seven pages in my physics book and then doing ten problems. I read one page and for some reason I just could not focus on it. I hate when that happens. I will be trying so hard to read something and my mind just wonders away.

Hopefully I can save up my money and buy one of these cute guys. I need about forty for the little guy and just over eighty for the cage. Yeah, right now I have twenty two in my savings (which is what I am using to buy him) I need a hundred more. This might take a while but it is well worth it to me.

I miss more than anything having something to take care of. It has been a few months since I lost Hamlet but I still cry at night from the silence alone. Maybe I am just a wimp or maybe it is because I love animals but I miss having one. Yeah we have a ton of pets but none of them are mine. The dogs are pretty much my dads, my mom and sister each have a cat. All the animals roam freely in the house and will be around whoever they want, but it just is not the same. I miss taking care of something, knowing it loved me. I suppose that could be why I am so excited to get married and have kids. Being able to take care of someone.

That seems like a weird thing to look forward too. Taking care of people. Then again, I want to be a nurse/doctor. That must just be me, I love to take care of people and animals.

28

Days and Weeks later.
Mini zombie moving marathon while I run a virus scan on my computer. Poor thing has been acting really sluggish lately and it makes me sad. Hopefully I will sell some art, or get a job and be able to pay for a new computer some time soon. This one is not two old but is has been through a lot. One bad virus, and one complete crash, I had to restore it completely once. That was the worst thing ever. I lost everything.

Sadly nothing has sold, the most hits for one painting I have gotten is only 11. I swear it is not about the money, it is almost an ego thing now. I feel like I am no good if no one is buying anything. I know I have said that before, but what else can it mean? Someone has to like my stuff and so far it seems like no one does. More than likely I am being to hard, I have only had stuff up there for two weeks on one thing, and four days on the rest. I suppose it will take longer than that to get it really seen. But if nothing sells I do not know I can justify spending more money trying to sell it.


Hopefully someone will see my art, and it will mean something to them. I want my art to matter. It is an extension on me, and I want it to mean something to the person who got it. Or I want it to be the icing on their decorative cake. The perfect thing for their room that they have been looking for. Hmm. Maybe someday.



Off to my movies.
No chance of sleep tonight. I will most likely post again about how amazing these two movies are. I have never seen them and I love horror/zombie/thriller/creature features/gore movies so I have no clue how I never saw them. Every one says I have been missing out. Let's find out.

Snow day?

[picture from flickr]

My oh my I really do hope that there is a snow day tomorrow. Just bad enough that they close down school but not so bad that we have to change the plans for diner.

I guess taking pictures could be a lot of fun to take pictures in the snow. It is just so pretty, but pointlessly COLD. There is nothing more I hate than snow. It is just too cold, makes the road terrible, leaves you stuck in your house and did I mentions it is cold?

Our Husky loves to run around in the snow. She is so beautiful and I think it relieves her to have some snow from time to time. Kansas summers are not much fun. Hopefully we will get a good bit of snow and I can go out and takes some pictures of her.

It is a shame that there are no good tall trees around town. We also do not have that many pretty houses that I could take pictures of. Hmm. I suppose that is not true, there is a well-to-do neighborhoods around town that I could take pictures off.

EEK. I want snow so bad. I am already seeing myself curled up in bed reading my book or knitting or taking pictures in the snow. I love snow days. Drinking hot chocolate and being all snugly warm in bed. The only thing that would make it better is if I knew Anthony could be snuggling with me.

The road less traveled

I want to go somewhere. anywhere. This girl i went to school with is traveling the world. She's in town right now and later plans to take a train to Seattle AND then she's taking a plan to Hawaii. I'm jealous of the adventures ahead of her. True it may be dangerous but it's gunna be amazing. I wish I was brave enough to be like that, I wish I had the guts to abandond all hope and just start my life right now. That would be something.

No Fun

So I'm sitting in my room and I hear a knocking, so I look outside. And to my surprise I see a truck infront of my house with "chicken beef something and seafood" written on the side of it. SO I freakishly excitedly run to the door to open it, and my mom was looking out the peep hole. When I told her who it was she said I could not open the door.

No one lets me have any fun. I honestly have no idea what I would have said when I opened the door.

This is it.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=39312006
Just uploaded my Michael Jackson painting on Esty. Sweet!



I am not going to lie. I will probably cry if no one wants to buy this painting. But keep in mind, anyone reading this, if this painting does not sell in a month I plan to give it to Anthony.

DO NOT use that as a reason not to love it. I can paint him another painting, I can paint him something else. If anyone wants this, I want you to buy it. I know a lot of people were effected by the death of this amazing performer.

Although I do not agree with his lifestyle, I recognize that he was amazing performer. The man can dance and sing like no one else, and has greatly impacted the world of music and dance. He might have made mistakes in his life, but nothing changes what he did. And like Madonna said at the VMAs, He was a King. God bless the King of Pop.

Red Hott

I attempted to dye my hair red last night. Or well, red-er. It has been a sort of light brown red color for a few months now. My hair does not like dye, at all. I am really sad about this fact because I love to switch up my style with a simple box of dye. If only my hair thought the same thing.

Getting up earlier was unusually hard today. I have not had to be up at six since Wednesday, so my body was very unhappy when my alarm went off. Eh. This post is going to be really short because I need to get something to eat and get ready for school.

OH MY! OH MY!
I do not need roses or flowers or chocolate for valentines day all I need is a studded Lorax. That is really all that I need. Kohl's I will always love you. Hopefully Anthony gets my not so vague hints that I want one and the book for valentines day. The money goes towards children charities.

I love the Lorax, he is cute a cuddly tree huger. Although his book is nothing shy of childish it still has an amazing message.

ROFL

Alright, so I am on the ground with an Oreo in my hand and the dog licks it. So I put the Oreo on the table because I was trying to find Anthony's keys. Well, I hear "Mmm Oreo" and just as I turn around saying "The dog licked that" I see Anthony with half the Oreo in his mouth with an amazing look on his face.

I was ROLLING on the floor laughing. The whole moment was priceless. I guess the trash can under the table would have been a much better place to put this Oreo but I was not thinking at the time. I was trying to be nice looking for his keys.


Me and Jess want to go on a road trip somewhere, anywhere. Even if it is just Nowhere, Kansas it is better than here. I want to be somewhere I have never been before. However my vote was for Chicago I highly doubt that is going to happen. Maybe I will have some money and can afford to drive up there and then afford to sleep somewhere. Haha. I guess I have a lot of art to sell.

Speaking on my art, I want to post some pictures. They are not the best, which is why most of this is not on my Etsy. I will put them up when I get really good pictures of them.

Dream On

Is it terrible that I do not plan to go to school in the fall?

Over the summer I will be getting a full time job no matter what it takes. Some place is going to hire me and I WILL work 4 hours a work, and that really is what I want to be doing. Not having a job makes me feel like a mooch, or generally just lazy. Since I do not have a job right now, I have been cleaning the house or sitting on the computer doing nothing. It is driving me crazy. So yeah, full time job over the summer.

Since I plan to live at home for at least another year I will more than likely have to keep this full time job in the fall. No do not freak out. I will be taking classes online. Also there are a ton of places not to far from my house were I can take classes in a classes room.

Only problem is, this means that whole Nurse thing might take a lot longer than I planned. But really? There is no way I can afford to go to any other school, let alone go there full time. Community College is perfectly fine. A Nursing degree is a nursing degree. Does it really matter where I go it from? Does it?

On my heart is screaming yes, but my mind is saying no.
My heart just does not want me to give up on my dreams. But my brain knows that I will still be doing what I wanted to do, just at a slower place while I work at a job I will more than likely hate. Ha. Sounds like an amazing four year plan.

I know that it will all work out in the end.


Have you ever had to put off a dream?
Take some time off from what you wanted to do, to do something that you needed to do?

Creativity

I have been in a really creative mood lately, but I do not know what to do with it. I think I want to paint, maybe. Perhaps I do not want to paint... I just know that I want to be doing something.

First off I want to stop thinking before I do whatever it is I was wanting to do. Thinking is no fun at all. And last night I learned that again. After the movie Jessica and I were sitting in her car talking about really random shit. I was sort of tripping out from the insanity of the movie itself. By the way, the movie was amazing, everyone should go see it. After the movie I was still in a state of complete awe, it was just mind boggling and all around amazing.

The acting could have been a million times better, mostly just seemed very forced. That was the only real thing wrong with it, but that was not even that big of a deal.
If I had the money I would go see it again, I loved it that much.

Anyways, back to not wanting to think. Somehow last night I felt like I was out of my mind, almost like being high without having to get high. The whole thing was really weird, both of us were laughing and talking like we did 4 years ago. Which, was always on a complex level that never really made a lot of sense to anyone else but us. Finding out that she still thinks on this brilliant level was really good to know, make me happy that we started talking again.


Last night was the best night I have had in a really long time. Hopefully more will come. My newly boring life seems to be picking up.

Imaginarium

Going to a movie tonight. Not going to lie I am really excited, we're seeing The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. Yeah, saying that is no fun at all. But the movie looks like it is going to be really good. Jude Law, Johnny Depp, Heath Ledger, Colin Farrell. Uh, HUNK FEST. Yes. yes. Really excited.

No one has made an offer on my painting.
Which makes me very sad, it really is not about the money. I just want to know that my stuff is good. I guess that means I half to sell them to know that. Maybe I am just crazy, but in a way that seems logical. If no one buys it how would I know if people like it.

R.I.P Mom's car

Today has been nothing shy of interesting. I was woken up by my mother calling to tell me her car broke down. So my father and I helped her put it on a trailer and bring it home. I got to be the one in the car when they backed it off the trailer. Scary.
And now I'm hanging out with Anthony instead of school.

Just haven't felt good lately. Kinda of 'blah'.
Not really sure what is wrong. I guess you could call it Senioritis.

Senioritis Noun;
A crippling disease that strikes high school seniors. Symptoms include: laziness, an over-excessive wearing of track pants, old athletic shirts, sweatpants, athletic shorts, and sweatshirts. Also features a lack of studying, repeated absences, and a generally dismissive attitude. The only known cure is a phenomenon known as Graduation.

What life costs

Sorry to anyone who reads this, I seem to find myself talking about how I have no money a lot. I feel terrible about that, not sure why I got all randomly apologetic about that.

Life is not about money. It is about being happy and loving life, not letting pesky things get in the way. Not letting money or material items define who we are. As much as I love to buy new clothes and the way it feels to put on something new, I do not need it to be happy. I do not need to go out to eat or to the movies every weekend. Going downtown has never been important to me until recently so I think I can let it go and not spent the money on it as often. Going to that cute little sandwich shop and that goofy antique mall are not as important to me as hangout with my boyfriend and family.
Playing board games and watching lame movies is more fun than anything else in the world.

Inspire

I wish I could write.
One Tree Hill has been playing in my rooms since about one, and it has made me wish I could write. Truly write. Just sit down and write a novel that other people will read and be inspired by. I want to inspire people. Hopefully my art will someday, or even right now inspire people. That is what I really wish for.

One day, I want some goofy lost girl or some bored boy to be surfing the web to find my work and love it. I want them to see it, and use it for a blog background, print it and put their on the wall, order the one of a kind print for their room. Or something of the nature. I want them to love, or just be inspired by it.


On an insanely random note. Watching One Tree Hill has made me wish I looked like Sophia Bush. Not JUST like her, but I wish I had the strength she has in this show. She looks like she knows just what she is doing. YES I know she is an actress and she is pretending to be a 21 year old fashion designer, but that is not the point. You can not act that king of vibe. She is just so stunning.


Continuing on being random, I want to wall paper my closet door. They do not look like the doors from the picture, but I wanted to post an idea of what I was talking about. I plan to paint my walls a purple color. One wall in my room has been written on by my friends and I do not have the heart to cover it up, so I have fabric to cover it with. And now I am wondering if a fabric covered wall and a wallpapered closet door would be too much. Hmmm. I wonder. Maybe when I take the time to paint my walls and put up the fabric I might think more about covering the doors. What do you guys think?

Lazy days and Art sales

I love not having to go to school until late. This is great.

I had one of those dreams were you're getting ready for your day at when the dream starts. So when you wake up you wonder what you did or didn't do. I hate those. So I have re do everything I did in the dream, no fun at all.

Well this post will be very short because I need to do my chores and then I want to play Sims. Yeah, I am addicted to sims3, as well as sims2. I have EVERY one of the expansions for sims2, but sadly I have none of the ones from sims3... yet. I will more than likely buy them. However since I have no job I use the little money I have for much much better things.

Well everyone have a fabulous day.

http://www.etsy.com/shop/TaffHerbivore
And if you haven't already go look at the painting I'm selling online.
I only have on up right now, but when it stops being insanely foggy I will get more pictures and post EVERY single one of my one of a kind paintings. Does that sound amazing to anyone else? I think so. Sorry if they seem over priced, I have to price them at least as much as I spent on the materials (to make more work) and then a little bit for me.

King Lear

Today was fun.

Had to drop Anthony's car off at the dealers so we hung out at the mall for a few hours. We did not buy a single thing, in fact we spend most of the sitting on the chairs they have all over their.

That would have been pretty fun if it wasn't for this really annoying girl who likes him. She saw us and stood staring at him until he looked up at her. She makes me so angry because she talks about him online all the time and it's so painfully obvious that she likes it makes me want to throw up. I've gotten very used to girls wanting to jump my boyfriends bones but it still bothers me sometimes. Which seems to be a normal thing to be annoyed by.

After about two hours Jessica picked us up and we walked around for a few hours in an antique mall that we had gone to before. This time however we learned that we skipped a whole half the store because it is a labyrinth of shelves. AND we learned that they had a second floor, it rocked. None of us bought anything and none of use spent any money they whole time.

However, I feel bad BUT I stole a book from the antique mall. I love the place to death but they have insanely priced things. Will had copies of a lot of the stuff that they were selling and he kept telling us how much less valuable it was. So I took a copy of King Lear. I feel a little bit bad but for some reason I don't.

OH YEAH. No tea cup. I am very sad about this.

Tea Cup Vs Coffe Mug

Not sure were this picture comes from, but I love it. The colors and everything are so pretty and make me feel all warm inside.

Drinking hot tea trying to figure out of I want to paint or read or knit. So much to do, so much time to spend doing nothing at all. That seems to be how all Sundays go for me. I lay around not doing anything until four and then I hangout with Anthony for a few hours. Homework always seems to be the first option, however, I have none. I suppose that is a good think because I almost always wait until the last minute to do my homework anyway.

I think tomorrow when I go down town with my friends I am going to by a cut tea cup and saucer, that picture makes me want to. Or I could just stop off at Goodwill and see if the have a cute set. Either way I want one. Tomorrow should be a lot of fun unless Jess bails on me. I will cry. Courtney and I were suppose to go get coffee but I think she stayed out all night at the hookah bar and forgot that we had plans. I got over it though, I am not the kind of girl that is going to worry about someone who is not even really a friend anymore, we just hangout sometimes and got to shows. She is a shady though, so I think I knew it was going to happen.

Back to the tea thing...I drink my tea out of coffee mugs and it's not the same.

I know I am not the only person that thinks the way something taste is changed by what it is in. Tea taste better in a cute tea cup. Coffee taste richer in a nice whimsical coffee mug or reusable thermos. Also, random. Has anyone else ever noticed that when you pull the wrapper off of a bottle of soda it takes different? I can not be the only one that thinks this, someone else has to agree.

What do you think?

YAY!

http://www.etsy.com/shop/TaffHerbivore


I just listed my FIRST painting on Etsy.com. That is the first thing I listed to sell, and I have it priced at $35. Which I do not see as being to much, it might even be to little. I do not really know how to price my art. I love it all, and just want other people to love it the way it should be loved.


Not to mention I would LOVE to be able to pay for college in the fall, so I am a big fan of money. Go look at it, and if you like it. Buy it. =) I will have more up later when I can get better pictures of them.

Hell yes.

Today is going to be weird.
I go to class for an hour, then I have no class, then class again for an hour.
My school is so dumb, it is really rather sad how poorly they plan things. But it means I get to see Anthony randomly in the middle of my day, which I LOVE. =)


More good news.
I just created an Etsy Account, where I will be selling my art work. Anthony might be joining me on the site so everyone can see and maybe buy his lovely photographs. However, you love me more so buy my stuff. Hahaha. I'm really excited that I learned about that site, there is a ton of amazing stuff on there and I would love to get my art to people who would love it and not have it living in their closet. As much as I love everything I have ever done I know that there is NO home for it in my house or room. I have made to much stuff, and I want it to be loved and viewed ever day.

When I get the sales up and running I will gladly post the link.

this is a test

i dont know how I did it but I think i figured out how to get blogger to work on my phones internet. I am pretty excited about this I'm not going to lie.

No luck.

Went to PetCo this morning to talk to the hiring woman. No luck.

Well, sort of no luck.

They have 'weird' hours. 8am to 2pm, stuff like that. I do not really see how that's weird. I was a waitress I've worked from 7am to 4pm, those are worse hours. Well, my school hours are really weird too, so it did not really help.

HOWEVER, the woman told me that is I come back when school is over I will more than likely get the job. She also liked that I has been a waitress which means I know a lot about customer service. I am excited but that doesn't pay the bills today. True, I have no bills but I am still in need of money. It sucks a lot not having a job. I went from my whole junior year banking at least 100 a week to no money what so ever my senior year. I have to ask my parents for money, they pay for my gas money, I HATE IT. I hate not being able to buy something when and where I wanted it because I know that I have almost no money to my name.


Far well for now, I have to get to school. Being a good kid and picking up a two liter for my friend. Random, I know.

True Cost

My whole life I have been addicted to fashion. I will never be a model, no matter what I do. 5 foot 6, 135 pounds with a size 9 ass. But I love my curves and I have never not loved how tall I was. I am the perfect size for any sized heel, when I put the on I down tower over anyone, it is great. Recently I have started to follow a lot of fashion blogs and was turn on to Weardrobe.com.

I love high fashion. I love ODD fashion. All of it. However I am insanely turned off by people spending crazy amounts of money of clothes. True certain things to warrant higher prices. The houndstooth pea coat I just bought cost me $50, but I wear it enough that it was well worth the price. I could see myself having spent more money on it because a good sturdy pea coat is a GREAT thing to have in your closet no matter what trends say. Tights are another thing. Yes you can go buy $30 high fashion tights but really, how often are you going to wear them? I have black tights, I spent about three dollars on them, I wear them a lot. I also have nude tights, three for five dollars I wear them almost every day. They were well worth it. I know what you are thinking. Cheap. They really aren't, if you know how to take care of them they can last a good bit of time.

One thing that your outfits need is Spirit. What you wear is nothing if you do not own it with your own little bit of creativity. Everyone can go out a buy a black tuxedo jacket and all wear it a different way, and each one look amazing. But if you are just copying someones style, people can tell. Because it won't look right, because it won't have your little bit of you in it. That is one thing I hate about big expensive lines, they have so much going one with them I don't think you could ever put yourselves in them. Not to mention where would you go in three hundred dollar shoes? You sure as hell wouldn't walk on anything that could wear them down, or near mud, or for long amounts of time.





Walden is calling me from my bed. So I shall go. Not before saying that I am going down town on Monday to find my friend some random record for his new record player and also to look for amazing clothes. The two kids I am going with are two of the most interesting people I know, so this should be a ton of fun. I hope I update between now and then but I keep getting busy. Job hunting has taken over my life (I even have to get up early to go to the Pet store before school. Just to find some lady, and discuss me MAYBE getting an interview. Fun Fun.)

I have no idea if anyone reads this, but to those who might be. Far Well.

Now, That isn't right.

When I was in the 8th grade (So, about 4 / 5 years ago) I had a huge crush on his kid, Tadd. I was very dorky looking when I first met him (Glasses and Perm. Eck), and nothing ever came of this crush. We were just first, and still sort of are. He is even really good friends with Anthony. Yeah I do think it is rather odd that my first big crush is friends with my boyfriend. Just weird. Oh, there was a point to this story about Tadd. So yeah, from about 6th to 8th grade HUGE crush. Then I started dating Anthony.

Recently my friend hooked up with Tadd. I do not have a problem with this because of who it is. He in a way shot me down and in that moment my feelings were gone. Or I thought so. Last night after an all ages show (I'll talk about this later) I found out that my first who hooked up with him planned on doing ex with him and more than likely having sex on his birthday. WEIRD. Did not need to know this at all. I was a little jealous when hearing this because she is getting a chance with a guy she has ZERO feelings for that I really liked for a few years. The jealousy was mostly me being curious about Tadd. WELL, this afternoon I feel asleep and had a very very vivid dream about Tadd. Woke up very confused and pretty freaked out. I haven't thought about Tadd in any way other than as a friend in years, so it was really weird. I still have no clue what to think about the whole thing. Could say that I am pretty disgusted, not going to lie. Bleh.

Take a deep breathe

I have not had the time to post in a while. I have been sick, which is never any fun.

For my birthday, my sister got me the game Spore. I LOVE IT. It has been so much fun and like the Sims you could play a million times and never really play it the same way. I really am addicted to it, no joke.

I have a blister on each foot. Yay me. I picked up three applications today, three more are online. I'm going to look at a few places at the mall later this week, maybe tomorrow. Got a CUTE scarf from Wal Mart, for &5, hell yes. My mother got a cute one also for six. While job hunting I got some cute shoes at Payless. They two will probably give me blisters for a little while.

I still do not feel very good and I need to lay down. Nothing blog worthy has happened as of late so but I wanted to update. I wish my life was cooler, then again if it was I would not have time to blog. Then again, again I have a sweet ass phone that I could just blog from. Hmmm. I still believe a more fun life is in order, I shall get to that. After I get a job (Which is so far an epic fail. Someone.. Anyone.. please hire me. I need money for college and gass. I will love you, and maybe give you a hug... the hug is only if you are cool. :) hahaha )


This is me. Duh. I was bored and wanted to take a picture of my cute outfit, but couldn't so here is my face. The jacket and scarf are both from the Miley Cyrus line. I love her stuff. I'm wearing cute gray slacks from Khols. I have no clue what the picture is on it's side but I could not for the life of me fix it. After I got my new camera, I cannot just open up a picture I have to open up the camera program first. It is a lot of work just to flip a picture so I did not really see the point in doing it.

Speaking of outfits and pictures. I am really close to finding my photo shop disk and taking a picture of all my shirts / jeans / shoes and making something were I can put outfits together to try out without having to try them on. I think they have something that could do that for me, like some sort of paper doll program... maybe they do, maybe they don't. All I know is I want it, and would love someone else to make it and take all the pictures for me. =) Why yes, I am lazy. Haha.

One down

I got my class dropped so I now only have 5 classes. Tomorrow I have Physics, Study Hall, and English. I wish I didn't have study hall but everyone has study hall at the same time, so I have to take it.

I just patches up my favorite jeans. Spending two dollars on a set of patches of thirty on a new pair of jeans. I pick the patches, but then again I am a little cheap.

My phone is broken. The little thingie you plug the charger into is messed up. For some reason it isn't lined up so it won't charge right. Lately I have just had to have it so the charger is pulling down on the phone, which seemed to work every time. However just recently it stopped working and I broke my charger. Anthony in his insane amazing- ness helped me buy a new one. Which surprised, broke too. So not only do I need to buy a new phone, I need to buy a new charger. Right now I have my charger super glued and taped up so maybe it will last just a little bit longer. I need my phone to last until November, but I don't see that happening. The super glue is taking forever to dry, but hopefully it will be when I am done with my shower. I do not know what I will do if my phone is not working tomorrow. I need it. Yeah I will be at school but I still need my phone.

Plus tomorrow if it does not work I cannot text Anthony about lunch. And what ever will I do? Haha.

CSI Miami

Today I get to stay home until 11:18. I love being a senior right now. There is not point to me not having classes other than I don't need to take anymore. Honesty the only classes I need to take our my two 3rd hour classes. English and Government. But I can't just have one class a day, and they said I can't change my schedule anymore.

However I just got done e-mailing my counselor, trying to have my Zoology class dropped. I know that one day I am going to have to cut open little animals in med school, but right now I am not ready for it. It is also my last class for one day so I would not even need to change my classes at all, just make this one go away.

There is NO WAY I can cut open a crayfish. I cannot even handle having one on the same table as me when I eat. Even before I stopped eating meat I could not handle seeing them. They freak me out!


On another note. I keep thinking it is the next day. The whole day yesterday I thought it was Tuesday and just not I thought it was Wednesday. Maybe I am just so excited to turn 18 I want it to be here a day early. Hmm. My birthday will be on another day that I don't have to go in until 11, I love that. I love being able to sit in my PJ's and blog while Anthony is sitting in class. It makes me smile. Well the part about not getting to see Anthony in the morning makes me sad, I already miss sitting in his car talking in the morning. I love him. He took me out to eat on Sunday since he has to work the day my parents are taking me out. He also said he would by me flowers since I have never gotten any. Not just any flowers. Crazy Daisies. I know, that is not a kind of flower, it is just dyed. So? They rock, they're colorful!

Senior Prom

Yeah. It might be a few months away, but I am freaking out excited about it. Which is a huge difference considering I have been a depressed mess the past few days. Both of these dresses are under $90. I love them.




The blue is a lot prettier to me, but the other one is still gorgeous. They are so close to the same, but they are still so different. I just can not figure out which one I like more.

The only problem is I HATE strapless dresses. I have that little bit of pooch under my arms, in that arm pity area? I hate it. There are a few work outs I could do to make it not as bad. Everyone tells me that it is in my head, maybe it is. I am smiling about it still. EECK. I am so excited.

Should I feel this way?

I have an honest depresses feeling about going to school today.
I think it is due in part to knowing I will not see Anthony at all today also this is my last semester of high school.

I feel lost. People have everything planned out, and I used to be one of those people that had it all planned out. Not anymore. I feel like crying when I think about it. Because of money I just might never get to go. There are loans. However, who wants to be in debt the second they graduate? That is no way to start your life.


I guess it is time to take a deep breath and just go. Everything is going to fine. In typical Taylor fashion I am over reacting. Wish me luck world.

Lottery ticket

Me and my father have been buying tickets twice a week. The same numbers every time. Hopefully we win something some day. I am not the kind of person to dream to heavily about what I would do if I won.

Personally, I just want to be able to go to college and get a nice house.

My dad said he would get me a new car and let my mother and I go to New York to shop. I have no clue what I would buy if I went to New York. There are a million better ways to spend that money, but if you think about it... it is FOUND money. Then again give it a few years and my dad might have paid way more just playing the lottery.

5 days

My 18th birthday is in 5 days. I have not had a fun birthday since I was like seven. My birthday was never a big deal, ever it seems like. Last year the family did nothing but take me out to eat ( at P.F. Changs. YAY) and talk about how much drama lace had been causing while she was out of town. The year before that was her stupid 'accident' (not an accident at all but a act of complete stupidity) and my birthday pretty much sucked and was full of crying. Year before that was the year we moved into the new house so it was a money less blur. So on and So on.


This year. I plan to go out to eat with my family on Friday. Saturday I plan to go out and apply at a million different places. My need for a job and an income is more important than a party. I wish I could just forget my birthday, not tell anyone, no one know. I just magically turn a year older and no one has to say anything. Can I do that? Sounds like a fabulous plan to me.


Tries to re subscribe to Vogue, but so some reason it was being evil and not letting me. It's been about a year since I was getting my issues. I'm dying inside without my monthly vogue. I need a fashion.

-Sniff- -Sniff-

I feel less than perfect today. And while trying to click the button to start this blog I fell over and out of my chair. No fun. I have never gotten used to being clumsy, but I have gotten used to be bruised most of the time.

This morning I watched some cat show with my mother and it just reinforced the thought that I will be a cat lady. Not to mention it made me wish I had an Exotic Shorthair cat. They are the cutest cat, I think. When you are little and you draw those really round cats with the big head... yeah. These cute dudes are just that. I love it. Goofy looking things are the best, I do not mean that in a mean way. I mean it as a unique-goofy.

www.absolutelycats.com


The not feeling good is getting a little bit worse. I am going to have to get off here and take a nap. However sleeping might be hard since my mind is on hyper speed. My brain is in an art over load. I just started another painting. I need to finish my 'FORTUNE' sign, I need to finish my mosaic coasters I started, I need to work on ideas for my dads friends art.

Speaking of my dad's friend. I'm going crazy. I need to paint four 24 by 36 paintings of Micheal Jackson. And five name murals of his children names. I need $100 plus up front for the canvases and he's going to by me an air brush kit for the murals. I do no believe I need an air brush kit AT ALL, but I would never say no to someone buying me art stuff. I love getting to play around with all kinds of things. I need to sell the stuff I have anyways. I wish I knew a way to get up a sit to sell my stuff on. [Help me if you know a way to start up a store for not a lot of more / for no money at all. I would love you forever]


Off to that nap now. Happy New Years!