CVA?

I either just did something amazing or something embarassing.

I signed myself up for peta2's annual "Cutest Vegetarian Alive" contest. Some of the girls on here are stunning, so I do not see my chances being very good. However I do really think it would be amazing if I made it at least to the finalist. Winning is not the most important thing, I think making it that far would be pretty cool.

So, everyone reading this should be amazing and vote for me.

http://cutestveg2010.peta2.com/Contestant.aspx?cid=2679

Hmm

Now I am starting to over think everything. I will only have two weeks of summer before I start my summer classes. But I will only be at school from eight ish to three thirty ever Monday and Wednesday. Hopefully that does not effect me getting a job. I will probably not tell them I can not work those days until right before it happens, I will just ask them to change my available hours. School would be twelve hours a week and I do not see myself getting much more than ten hours of work a week over the summer.

I know everyone reading this is really sick of hearing me talk about getting a job, but I do not see it stopping until I get that job. Calling tomorrow about the two I applied for Tuesday.

I wonder

I wonder how much blogging I am going to get done over the summer, since I will be taking my first college classes. I am insanely excited.

I am however now in desperate need of a job. Over the summer I am going to be taking General Psychology and English Comp 1, which is going to cost me 481.50. This means I need to get a job so that I can help my parents pay for the classes. And it means I REALLY need a job to help pay off the 900+ for my fall semester.



I do not think I should be this happy to be taking more classes.

Nervous?

Yeah. I suppose nervous could describe how I feel.

I turned in the two applications I filled out yesterday. I have no idea what to think. Now I get to wait until they call me, so until I break and call them. How long should I wait? Should I call at the end of the week? Or next Tuesday? There are so many things to think about and be nervous about.


 I really want either job, any job.

Not only am I nervous about that I am nervous about tomorrow. I am going to enroll for my classes or at least talk to the man about enrolling. We do not by any means have the money to pay for my classes so we're going to talk to them about it. I know that I should have filled out my FAFSA (Free Application for Federal Student Aid). But my mother is leaving her job this summer so I do not know if that will change it. EECK. So much to be thinking about.

SHAPE Pilates

Wow. I just had the worst ten minutes of my life. The fact that the word fun was used in the title of my ab work out is wrong.

I bought this Pilates DVD over winter break. I almost never use it but I am going to. I have the worst commitment issues, when it comes to stuff like this. I think if I was taking a class it would be easier beacuse there would be a person there making me do stuff and helping me. Like this fall semester I had a P.E. class were we did do pilates and I fell in love with it.

However, in my room. There is no one to tell me to do it, and there are countless distractions. Like right now. I did one work out and then I got online. In a minute I am going to endure another ten minutes if hell and work out my legs. I love how my core/ abs are all tight and sore. It means it's working!

Changed my mind

Instead of applying at the fashion place I applied at two restaurants near my house and school. The two girls that sit in front of me in English, each work at one the places. So they told me I had a good chance of getting something. I would love to be a waitress again. Might be weird to say this, but I loved being a waitress it would a lot of fun.

Having money would be amazing too. But it is mostly the going crazy with boredom and not being independent that is killing me. I need something to do. Other wise I sit in my room and eat, which is bad.  Yeah I might see Anthony less if I get a new job but I worked 15 - 20 hours a week at my first job and we ALWAYS made time to hangout.

Having a job is really important to me. Things seem to be coming together. I am going to meet with my college Wednesday and I am applying for jobs again.

Oh my. My bike?

There are no words for how mad I am right now, but of course I have more than enough words to tell you why I am mad.

Today my father has been working on cleaning out the garage so we can park my mothers newly fixed car in it. Tacos were ready so he came into the house to eat and take a break. Leaving the door to the garage open. About half an hour later he comes back into the house and starts to clean again. Oddly he only sees one of our two bikes. So he starts to look around, maybe it was moved. Nope.

Someone came into our garage and stole it. Considering the amount and the height of the cars in our drive way the person would have had to walk up and look around first. They must have been on foot because if they were in a car they probably would have taken some of the MANY tools laying around.

I am so pissed. Why would you do that?! Why would you walk onto someones property and seal something that you know is not yours. I will never understand people, I will never figure out why someone could just take something. And it is not like it was outside out house, it was IN our garage. Leaning against the back of the garage. They walked all the way into the back of the garage and took it! AND NO ONES SAW IT.

Grr. People need to respect other property.

Goodwill

Today was pretty funny. I convinced my mom and dad to head up to our local goodwill. The hunt was on for the perfect frame for a print I am interested in getting. I would put up the picture but I can not seem to get it to post. Sorry.

While at Goodwill me and my mother found really nice (NEW) contour pillows for three dollars, this pretty niffy hot pocket maker (that looks just like one we used to have. AND also a ten dollar cage for my mothers rat that looks just like the one she was going to spend seventy on. So I ended up saving my mother sixty dollars and still never found the prefect frame. Lucky there is a Goodwill across from the community college I plan to go to, and am visiting this week. So the hunt it still on for the perfect frame.

(Picture Source)

Cato

Applying for a job Monday after school. Cato is this sort of high end, but still cheap clothing store. I really do not know how to describe this store. The girl who sits next to me in Physics was talking about how she applied there and had an interview. However she also said that the woman said they would contact her later because they are still waiting for more people to apply. I was a waitress for almost a years so I do not know if this store will care about me.

I just really want a new job. I am so bored.

Do not feed the models?

I haven't had much to say lately. I suppose that is because I haven't been doing anything lately.

Just going to school, doing homework, and sometimes hanging out with friends. My life lately has been nothing to blog about. Possibly the only thing I could talk about is my oddly low self esteem recently.
I am not really sure why but recently I have felt terrible about my body. I can think of two reason why I would be a little down but not this bad. I tried on my graduation gown and it made me look like a whale, yeah, that did not help me feel good about myself. And then the other day my mom told me I am gaining weight, she seriously meant I am gaining enough weight to make her question if I am pregnant. Which I am not. I've been sad, so I have been eating, which is making this whole body image thing worse.

I never had a problem with my body. Well, nothing more than a normal girl. My bestfriend since the second grade was a tall blond tan blue eyed athlete. That does not makes you feel good about yourself, but I never hated my body, I was me. I never liked being pale, so my mother allowed me to start tanning (I shall talk about tanning in another post). I paid for it, I went maybe once a week for a few months and then I stopped. That is until I needed a little color for dances, and what not. I am by no means tan but I am also not pale. I am happy. I was never skinny nor was I ever fat. I really did think I was happy with my body. When I was a freshmen and a sophomore I wore a size small and size 3 jean. Now I wear a medium and a size 4 /5. I am by no means fat. I can say that. But I still feel like when people look at me they see someone larger.

I am afraid that I am going to fall back into bad habits. Between freshmen and sophomore year I got really really depressed, and I lost a good bit of weight. I never noticed it, until one day I say a picture of me on a friends Myspace. You could see my ribs and my size small shirts where hanging off of me. I wasn't eating. But honestly, I did not notice. It makes me feel stupid to say that now, but I really did not notice I was skipping meals or that I would go whole days without eating a real meal until I saw that picture.

I know that I am not fat. I just wish I was happy with my body. Also I wish no one in the whole world was ever aloud to say something negative about a person body.

Awe?

I am truly in awe.

Alright, today had an interesting bump. I get to school and C runs up to me asking me to skip the first part of class and come with her. She seemed really frantic so I did. Turns out J was popping pills last night and could barely stand today, she fell out of her chair and could not walk straight. 
J has always had a problem with a pill dependency (she use to have a really bad sleeping problem and the doctor proscribed her highly addictive pills) She got over it, she was doing really good. The she met this girl, her new bestfriend. Well this girl is into hardcore drugs, she has an advance past. J had smoked but never did anything big until she started hanging out with this girl. Now she's cutting class and doing X. I never thought this would happen. Lucky I thought everything was getting better when she told me she was not going to do shrooms / anything 'hardcore'. I really did think things were getting better, I thought she was stopping. She told me she had gotten better about pills. I believed her.

I really am worried about her. I really am.

On a happier note, I got a B on the chem test I took. Before the test I was pretty sure I was going to get a great grade. However while I was taking it my mind changed and I thought I was going to fail for sure. The B was really nice to see. My grade now is a 78.5 which when rounded is a 79, however an overall B for the class is a 79.5 . I am pretty sure I can get my grade up to that.

My English grade is pretty close too. I have an 79.1 so close. But I am pretty sure that the vocab test I just took will bump that up.

on hold

Just called about enrolling at the community college near where I live and they put me on hold. The first girl I talked to was really nice and helpful. She told me what I need to do to enroll and who I need to talk to. She also reassured me that my ACT score had been sent. Yay. However, she had to transfer me to ask about my High school Transcript. Now this lady, was not nice. She was very to the point and sort of spoke to me like I was five.

It would be impossible for my graduation stuff to be with my transcript since I have yet to graduate. Duh? Alright, so this lady put me on hold. I am already having a panic attack in fear of sounding stupid over the phone and she leaves me with my own thoughts on hold?! Evil woman.

Somehow, I survived the phone call. Now I just have to go talk to one of the people there and see what I need to enroll and which classes I should take for the nursing degree. I am excited.

Three "Sisters"

The past 6 years of my left led to this. Three friends that were way more than friends at one point.

It kills me that the three of us are not as good of friends as we used to be. I wish That everything was the same way it was when we were in the 8th grade. But I do know that four years and high school can change you. The three of us are different people now, but those memories will never be forgotten.

There is nothing about our lives that I would change. Even growing apart was a piece of our journey. But I know, that I will never forget these girls.



I wish them the best of luck with everything they do in life.

12 hours

12 hours of my life yesterday was given to Prom. Starting with getting my hair done at 4pm to walking into my door at 4:30am.

Yesterday was the best night ever.
I will post more about it later, and I will put up the pictures from last night too.

3 years

It has been at least three years since I hung out with my two best friends at once. We were inseparable growing up but high school made that harder. We were in a lot of different classes and made different friends. However, due to someone dropping out of my Prom group both of my best friends are going to be able to be in my prom group. I am insanely happy about this.

J, is moving away for college so I might never get to see her again. Which freaks me out, a lot. I know I am going to miss her, but I have a bunch of great memories with her.

C is staying here but I will most likely never see her either. She is the busiest person I know.

I love both of them a bunch, the fact that we're all going to be together for Senior Prom makes me so happy. And trust me there will be a billion pictures up Sunday.

Library Card

Fixing my application to the Book Store, and thinking about going to the Library to get a Library Card. I have never had one before. Whenever I needed a book I normally had it, or I could go to the school. However, now I am about to leave school.

I love to read. I wish it did not take that long though. I think that is why I like movies, beacuse it all gets done in about two hours. Books take longer, but I still love them. I love getting sucked into a good book. Lately that has been older books though.
Recently published books all seem to be the same. This vampire craze is killing me, I have no read any of the Twilight books and never plan to. I read the firs chapter of the first book and found it completely lacking in depth, and I could not understand how people fell in love with his plot. Also, this part is about the movie, I watched the first one and can not believe that girls love with main character. He is mentally and physically abusive, why would anyone wish they had that? Really? This Twilight rant could go on forever, but I shall stop.

Anyways. I love reading books more than I like watching movies. I love to get lost in the words and the settings. I like seeing my own people as the characters (Hollywood always gets it wrong.). I hope with all my art that movies will not take over, and I hope that great classics are made during my time. There is nothing better than stepping into an old Book Store, but I would love to find a new book that pulls me in like those old ones can.

Busy

Yesterday my father got the part he needed to fix my mothers car. So the two of use spend just about 5 hours in the garage putting the car back together after fixing it. Needless to say we were happy when it was all said and done.

However. We were not done. I guess when the car broke down the first time another part of the engine was damaged. There was no way we could have known this before. Kind of sucks. Now we're waiting until Friday to get a part so that we can fix it. Estimated time is 20 minutes to fix it once we get the part.

There is a point to me posting that too. I spent all of yesterday working on the car. I am an eighteen year old girl and I spent my Tuesday working on a car. I am by no means a tom boy. I read Vogue, watch Americans Next Top Modle all the time, and refuse to leave my house with out at least a light mascara on. Stereo types are one of my biggest pet peeves. Being sexist is another thing that bothers me. When I told someone what I was doing yesterday they drilled me over what I did, they also gave me a dirty look when I relayed what happened. I did however not know the names of the parts, but I did a good job describing to this guy what I did. Needless to say he was not very happy when I answered.

I just do not understand why someone would think I was lying.

I wish the closed minded people of the world would open up and look at real people. Just because I wear heels and watch What Not to Wear doesn't meant I can't put an car back together or take honors chemistry two. Just because I do Yoga in the mornings doesn't meant I do not know how to use power tools.

What now?

I mailed in the CD for my Art House project. I am not really sure what I should do now. My father and I can not think of anymore project to do. There are only so many things you can build.

The weather has been getting better so I might go to the part and paint. I need to find some more flowers I can press. Anthony says I can not just pick flowers. I know that picking flowers from in front of someones house is wrong, but I do not think the same is true about a school. I know, that it is more than likely wrong. But I adore pressed flowers.
I love to paint flowers to. All things nature actually. Even though everyone is looking at the same thing they might be seeing vastly different things.

This Friday is going to be cool. I'm getting to meet the author of a book I read for English. I can not say that I have ever met an author before, and I liked this book a lot so I'm excited. My mother gave me the money to go pick up a copy today. The buying of the book was suppose to happen a while ago but we both sort of forgot. I feel bad though, I got mad at her for forgetting. And she was all confused because yesterday I said there was no point to get it. But I was a little frustrated that the day at finally come. But we talked about it.

I'm excited

Designer?

I was telling Anthony how I felt like I had no purpose because I have no job. Which is true.

But then later I started to work on a new project with my dad. We took apart my old entertainment center and then using parts from my sisters old computer and the old crates we built a new one. I wish I had taken pictures of it before. I love the after. Although it is visibly three different types of wood I love it.

However, we're not done. Later we're going to had hooks to the front and a dowel rod across the front so that we can hang a curtain to hid the TV it's self. Because personally, I think TV's are ugly but I love to watch TV shows and work out. Taking the TV out was not an option, so this is what ended up happening and I couldn't be happier.


I love to build stuff with my dad. Maybe I will be a Designer. That would be fun.

Here is the amazing entertainment center we made. Feel free to ignore the messiness that is my bed room. I also have a picture of some of my pressed flowers on top of my entertainment center.

 

Down time

I am slowly going crazy. I have way to much free time and no money.
This whole not having a job thing is driving me so crazy.

I can honestly say I have killed so many tress applying at every store in my town. Not mention the monster sized handful of store I have applied at outside of the town. But I have gotten no bites. None.

Everyone keeps telling me that places are hiring for the summer. They might be but they do not want me.

Work Bench?

So, this the past few days I have helped my father build a work bench and two saw horses. I love it and think it rocks. The whole thing is made of really nice wood that he got from work. Every piece was once part of a crate to haul stuff in. I think it's cool. Each piece has a lot of personality. Some have been written on, some have huge gorgeous knots on them, and some have really pretty tiger like wood grain. Over all it is great. The only think we have left to do if by peg board for the back, the only think for whole bench that will be purchased.

 Not the most flattering picture of me. But hey, I was excited. I have never build anything like this before. Not to mention this was the all done in about three hours. Pretty sweet.

Oh. The fence looking things behind me are the saw horses we made. They are by no means attractive but they get the job done. No pictures were taken of them because aren't the best piece of carpentry.

Frankenstein

I am working on my paper for class tomorrow and going crazy.
Somehow most of the paper just flowed right onto the page but now I am left with half of a conclusion and no clue what to put. This always happens to me. Every time I write a paper his happens.

Not like it really matters. No matter how hard I try my teacher will give me a C. Maybe since I did this one last minute and did not put a ton of thought into it I will magically get a B. A B would be fantastic since I have an overall C in the class. My English class is out to get me, it really is. I will always get a C on a paper and when I get a good grade on something I will fail something else just to keep my grade down.

Prom

April 17th is Prom. I can not believe it is this close. I am so excited.
I need to find a necklace and figure out how I want my hair to look, but as far as the dress goes. I am in love.

I've been tanning so I should be a little bit more color by the time it is prom, but I will not be getting a spray tan this year. I was just too tan last year for prom.



EECK. I can't wait!

Release the Kraken

Saw Clash of the Titans last night.
Not going to lie, it was pretty sweet.

Today, I have a few things to do.
I really need to get my room cleaned. That is if the vacuum decides to work.
I also need to clean Ty's cage and help my mother with Bella's.
Not today specifically, but this weekend I have to finish Frankenstein and write my paper. I like the book a lot. My sister and I got into a huge debate about how she feels sorry for the Doctor, but I feel sorry for the Creature. Which I do. My paper is about how the create developed into more of a human than his creator.

Yeah. He did no bad things, but he was basically a child. An eight foot tall zombie child, but he was still child like. All he ever learned was hate, he only knew good from the people in the woods. And you can not really blame him for being mad when his 'friends' attacked him. He was hurt.

Bum Bum Bum New Project

I know I said I was going to start working on stuff for dog toys. Well that was before I found the coolest thing ever. At the local craft store I found six Matryoshka dolls, for seven dollars. There are no words for how happy I was.

I painting them for Anthony. But it's a secret. I'm not going to say the theme but I bet someone figures it out when I post the smallest one, which I almost have painted.




________________
I need to go out a buy a CD, or disk or something that I can put my pictures on for the Art House Project. I only have four out or ten done but I only need three to submit. The whole thing is due by April 15th, so I do not foresee myself doing another one. Unless I get some crazy inspiration. The six I have left to look at are; Lost at Sea, Green houses and red fences, Just a minute just a second, ducks lots of ducks (I might have an old piece I can submit for this one) , Cats with their heads out windows and undeniably geek.

I will post the duck picture later and deiced if I could use it. That way I have half done. Which I feel better about that only doing four. No matter what though I get to be in a book. YAY. However, that means I will spend the next for days taking just about a million pictures of the pieces to get the perfect ones. Sounds fun.

Number Ten

I got a lot done yesterday. Wow. I mounted my Social networking water color, mounted the letters for my fortune cookie one. Recently I was able to add last minute touches to 'Wisdom'. I was also able to take a bunch of pictures of my art.

I do love having Anthony's camera =)

I did not even get to see Anthony yesterday, expect for when I went to his work and got pizza. Sometimes I hate his grandparents. Honestly, I doubt if they were ever teenagers. They never let him out to do anything.