carpe diem carpe noctem carpe vitam

Trying to get back into painting. I can not say that is is coming alone very well. It just feels flat and not right, like I forgot how I to paint. Which could very well be the case. It has been a year since I was in art class and I do believe that I left a part of me behind when I walked out of that room.

Art has been a big part of my life since for as long as I can remember, I suppose I do not really need a class to be an artist, but miss the feedback. Both positive and negative. So anyone. I'd love to know what you think.
 The trees are just place holders, I'm mostly play around with the ground for now, and when I'm happy with it I'll move on to adding more to the trees and giving the forest a bit more life. I have a beauty vision in my head for this.

There is a girl I when to high school with, she's wild to say the least. Her family is wealthy and that has given her grounds to live her life to the fullest. She has two or three jobs, not because she needs them, but because she gets bored and wants something to do when she's not parting or having a grand old time. I am honestly jealous of her carefree outlook and have decided that I want to try to be like that. She is a lot like Anthony, they both go with the flow and seem to not care about much at all. I like that about both of them, and luckily for me, they hate each other, other wises I might have had to worry about the two of them being so much alike.

But, that is my new years resolution. I want to go with the flow. I want to live my life as much as I can, no more plans, no more worrying (or at least not as much. I am going to try as hard as I can not to worry, but come on, it's me) no more being stressed. I am going to buy myself some Buddhist prayer beads, and make sure that I meditate, I am going to clean and reorganize my room so that when i want to I can start painting. No more of this having to spend twenty minutes cleaning and losing my muse. I am going to be more focused on school but not let it control me. I am not going to worry about getting more hours at work, but I am going to be the best sale associate they have ever seen, and get a million icaps and e-mails. I am going to be happy with who I am, and not worry about what is going to happen tomorrow. Just today. I am going to live in the day, the now.

Mike Posner

I got a free CD from a radio DJ at work today. She came in the other day and helped out and I guess I'm a really good sale associate, because I got a free CD. It made me feel really good, not to mention I was a little gitty to meet her, since I listen to that show almost every day.

However, something at work did my make me really mad. I spent roughly twenty minutes helping a costumer look up some sleep pants and then a full pj set, as well as help her a sign up for a car, then I helped her with the full online order. I did not mind, it is my job to help out people. I love doing it. I generally love to help people find what they are looking for. When everything was said and done she told another working how great and helpful I had been, this worker is higher up on the ladder than me and promised to tell our store manager what the woman had said, and she did. Well, I spoke to this other worker later and found out that all our store manager had to say was "Well is she going to fill out our survey?" That was is.

All he cared about was whether or not this woman was going to get online and fill out our costumer serves survey, and hopefully give us a good rating, so that his ratings can go up. He does not care how helpful we are, as long as we get good scores on the surveys. I was hurt to find this out because she is not going to do a survey, because I helped her with an online purchase and those receipts do not print with a survey code on the bottom.

Even if I do not get recognition for helping her out, I still know that I helped her. And it help great when she told me that I was the nicest and most helpful sale associate she as ever met. People like that make me happy. People like that make my days go by faster.

Better late than never

I miss blogging. I still do not have anything great to say, but I want to get back to writing everyday, or almost everyday. Looking back at the beginning of the year I posted something almost everyday. I did not keep things inside either, I just wrote it out, which felt good. Maybe I need to start doing that again.

I'm not looking to get a book, or a million followers I just need a place to talk again.

Hopefully thing is not the last time I update for months. I hope to back on tomorrow to talk about my day at work, or even back on later tonight if this boredom takes over. Not having classes anymore til new years is going to kill me, to much free time is a bad thing for me.